Saturday, May 2, 2015

Peace in the Storm

You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You. Isaiah 26:3

Our family has had an unexpected and interesting week. Paul, Jessica, and Caleb arrived home late Monday from a trip to Alabama to visit friends. On Tuesday, we received a call from my doctor saying that my blood test came back showing my anemia was critical. She wanted me to go to the emergency room for a possible blood transfusion. We gathered the family and prayed and then I packed a few things to keep me busy while waiting in the emergency room. We expected to be there for 3-4 hours.

As some background, I have struggled with fatigue for a couple of years. This has only intensified in the last 6-8 months. Recently, I shared with a friend that I feel 60, not 39. I had lost my desire to hike, camp, work outside, or really even explore with my family because I was tired all the time. I just survived each day doing what I HAD to do.

Back at the emergency room a few hours and a few tests later I was told they wanted to admit me for the transfusion which would take about eight hours to complete. In the meantime, they wanted to try and determine the reason for the severe anemia.

By the next morning, I had been given two units of blood which raised my hemoglobin a couple of points but still well below normal. The gynecologist visited me after reviewing the ultrasound and other tests completed the night before. I had a fibroid, a cyst, and a condition called adenomyosis. The result: the bleeding that led to my anemia could only be stopped by a partial hysterectomy.

So, insurance was contacted and I was scheduled for surgery the next morning (Thursday).

While this week has been so very unexpected, I have been learning to walk in peace. I spent most of Wednesday, bored in the hospital just waiting for surgery. I had time to think about what was coming or worry, but I didn't.

A friend encouraged me to read Psalm 91 and she prayed that over me even as I prayed it over myself. When I was tempted to worry about all I had left undone at home or about the surgery, I put my eyes back on my Abba and told Him I trusted Him. 

Everyone who knows me knows that I LIKE to be prepared. If it has been up to me, I would have cooked and frozen meals for the family, I would have cleaned the house and done laundry and organized child care and rides.

I didn't get to do ANY of those things. Instead, I prayed and trusted, I asked for help from friends and felt their love as they surrounded us with prayer and help. I tried to be a light to the people caring for me in the hospital. And they noticed. At one point, a nurse said, "You are always so happy and so nice to take care of." I answered, "That's because of Jesus." And I realized it was true. Keeping my eyes on Him, he filled me with a joy and love for the people around me and kept me in a peace that was beyond human understanding.

I am home now and having to remember the lesson I learned in the hospital. My family is amazing as they pitch in to serve me. I am down for two weeks with little activity and zero driving. After that I have to take it VERY easy for another four weeks.

I have never been very good at being down. What mom is? I am however, seeing my children step up so it doesn't all fall on dad. I am also seeing that they will learn skills during this time that are good for their future. Today, I hurt so resting is easy. I just have to remember this in a week when most of the pain is gone.

Prayers are appreciated as are meals or gift certificates for meals.