tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38186658368244482762024-03-13T14:18:47.419-05:00Regarding Life MattersAbout God, adoption, parenting and everything in between...Angelahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17901294526605293502noreply@blogger.comBlogger38125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3818665836824448276.post-58498529589455122422016-01-24T09:09:00.005-06:002016-01-24T09:09:46.512-06:00Loving New York<div class="MsoNormal">
It has been two weeks since I was privileged to travel to
Jamaica Queens, NY to help with an evangelism seminar. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I know most of you who know me and read the word evangelism
did a bit of a double-take, so let me explain.<o:p></o:p></div>
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A few months ago, I watched Father of Lights for the first
time. It was the only one of the series I hadn’t seen and God’s timing must
have been just right because I just cried and cried over the people healed and
saved. I saw their eyes light up as they felt love, sometimes for the first
time. It encouraged me and made me hungry so I started watching Youtube videos
of people like Todd White on the street or teaching about evangelism.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCa6naN5_jIGtuXgdEWFQS3y_IDiHP0ERe6XySrlv1130-W3TyNSkaPVi1-RH7OZ32o0XmzVk6m_SnOTj7JyVF6p_xkU4id08RkSzLqpQY2nuqjvx_-8Rb62buu3zASdvkFViNVXVrmuE/s1600/IMG953362_2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCa6naN5_jIGtuXgdEWFQS3y_IDiHP0ERe6XySrlv1130-W3TyNSkaPVi1-RH7OZ32o0XmzVk6m_SnOTj7JyVF6p_xkU4id08RkSzLqpQY2nuqjvx_-8Rb62buu3zASdvkFViNVXVrmuE/s320/IMG953362_2.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Laurie and I at the end of a day of exploration.</td></tr>
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My friend and mentor, Laurie Ditto was part of an intense
evangelism trip called Love NY and while she was gone, I was praying for her.
Through that trip, she was invited to come back to a wonderful little church
there. When I found out, I had a crazy idea. I asked if I could pay my way and
go along to observe, serve and pray. She said yes…and then said that I also had
to preach so people could get to know me. She gave me some guidelines and I
prepared a nice little testimony and then we flew out on a Thursday.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I need to say, I spent the majority of the weekend being
pushed out of my comfort zone and loved every minute of it. As we drove the
Lord spoke. In the meetings, the Father talked to me. During my quiet times, He
challenged me. With time away by myself, I got a big ole download about my
life, my present and a bit about my future.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Then we went out on the street my last day there. It was
nerve-wracking and wonderful all at once. I got to share with a few people and
pray with a few more. I got to watch people who are naturals love on those we
met. I learned SO much.<o:p></o:p></div>
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And then the demon-possessed man pushed his way into our
group. We were praying for and talking with a lovely woman standing well over
six feet. She was very open to the Lord and ready to pray the prayer when this
man jumped in our circle. He tried to intimidate us with his yelling and
cussing and getting our faces, but the Holy Spirit was strong and he found no
fear to feed on so he finally left.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtKORgYeEZBePNeVn_iDvADeQ4H1QuGuPGixMiEzFuOlpFyz3OCHdlnMTK-h9R87-Ddyq8KffK-OSKFnKd10CS9za1H_JVEcsKWQJxxXkiPRUmfFXUkN0TAlcXjjhkjp_8C8jbRL7-evw/s1600/FullSizeRender_3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="238" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtKORgYeEZBePNeVn_iDvADeQ4H1QuGuPGixMiEzFuOlpFyz3OCHdlnMTK-h9R87-Ddyq8KffK-OSKFnKd10CS9za1H_JVEcsKWQJxxXkiPRUmfFXUkN0TAlcXjjhkjp_8C8jbRL7-evw/s320/FullSizeRender_3.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Praying for people the night I preached and after my friend <br />shared her testimony of when the Lord took her to hell.</td></tr>
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In the midst of the weekend, Father made it clear that He
had a different message than the one I had carefully prepared, printed and
practiced. It was more real and impactful than anything I could ever come up
with on my own. No time to practice or prepare but it was His words so it
flowed.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I was so blessed by the church we were there to love and
serve. Their faithfulness in a dark place. Their beauty and fervency for the
Lord. Their desire to see a city filled with people from all nations SAVED for
Him!<o:p></o:p></div>
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The result of this trip is my desire to push into praying
for and talking to people about the love of God. My strongest desire is to obey
Him no matter what others think. How will they know if I don’t tell them? Time
is short, I cannot possibly ignore those who are hurting and lost. God help
this introvert!<o:p></o:p></div>
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To end, everyone should hear my friend Laurie's testimony. It is powerful and will make you think twice about allowing anyone you know to die without sharing about the love of Jesus. You can watch it <a href="http://www.myfathersreputation.com/" target="_blank">here</a> but be prepared to be challenged and changed! </div>
Angelahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17901294526605293502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3818665836824448276.post-91004972073657804602015-05-02T13:53:00.000-05:002015-05-02T13:53:25.644-05:00Peace in the Storm<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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</span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><i><b>You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You. Isaiah 26:3</b></i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Our family has had an unexpected and interesting week. Paul, Jessica, and Caleb arrived home late Monday from a trip to Alabama to visit friends. On Tuesday, we received a call from my doctor saying that my blood test came back showing my anemia was critical. She wanted me to go to the emergency room for a possible blood transfusion. We gathered the family and prayed and then I packed a few things to keep me busy while waiting in the emergency room. We expected to be there for 3-4 hours.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">As some background, I have struggled with fatigue for a couple of years. This has only intensified in the last 6-8 months. Recently, I shared with a friend that I feel 60, not 39. I had lost my desire to hike, camp, work outside, or really even explore with my family because I was tired all the time. I just survived each day doing what I HAD to do.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Back at the emergency room a few hours and a few tests later I was told they wanted to admit me for the transfusion which would take about eight hours to complete. In the meantime, they wanted to try and determine the reason for the severe anemia.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">By the next morning, I had been given two units of blood which raised my hemoglobin a couple of points but still well below normal. The gynecologist visited me after reviewing the ultrasound and other tests completed the night before. I had a fibroid, a cyst, and a condition called adenomyosis. The result: the bleeding that led to my anemia could only be stopped by a partial hysterectomy.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">So, insurance was contacted and I was scheduled for surgery the next morning (Thursday).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b><i>While this week has been so very unexpected, I have been learning to walk in peace. </i></b>I spent most of Wednesday, bored in the hospital just waiting for surgery. I had time to think about what was coming or worry, but I didn't.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">A friend encouraged me to read Psalm 91 and she prayed that over me even as I prayed it over myself. When I was tempted to worry about all I had left undone at home or about the surgery, I put my eyes back on my Abba and told Him I trusted Him. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Everyone who knows me knows that I LIKE to be prepared. If it has been up to me, I would have cooked and frozen meals for the family, I would have cleaned the house and done laundry and organized child care and rides.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I didn't get to do ANY of those things. Instead, I prayed and trusted, I asked for help from friends and felt their love as they surrounded us with prayer and help. I tried to be a light to the people caring for me in the hospital. And they noticed. At one point, a nurse said, "You are always so happy and so nice to take care of." I answered, "That's because of Jesus." And I realized it was true. Keeping my eyes on Him, he filled me with a joy and love for the people around me and kept me in a peace that was beyond human understanding.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I am home now and having to remember the lesson I learned in the hospital. My family is amazing as they pitch in to serve me. I am down for two weeks with little activity and zero driving. After that I have to take it VERY easy for another four weeks.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I have never been very good at being down. What mom is? I am however, seeing my children step up so it doesn't all fall on dad. I am also seeing that they will learn skills during this time that are good for their future. Today, I hurt so resting is easy. I just have to remember this in a week when most of the pain is gone.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Prayers are appreciated as are meals or gift certificates for meals.</span>Angelahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17901294526605293502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3818665836824448276.post-44751006362356817162015-04-20T20:49:00.002-05:002015-04-20T20:49:43.350-05:00A New Name for Christian<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiE3Q-s64EJoJvvQhBXSe8DLcB-bRaNlO7-JvKyhq2hRX-3qyt4ZeT5Yo-gX7XZnlVzgeoW_7xzpn3org1b3IO6SPi11C0ZlLp65Dzv8auO5eL0wEZkQAPI8cKewfTrayeaSPqZ78shg_U/s1600/Caleb+Wall+Plaque.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiE3Q-s64EJoJvvQhBXSe8DLcB-bRaNlO7-JvKyhq2hRX-3qyt4ZeT5Yo-gX7XZnlVzgeoW_7xzpn3org1b3IO6SPi11C0ZlLp65Dzv8auO5eL0wEZkQAPI8cKewfTrayeaSPqZ78shg_U/s1600/Caleb+Wall+Plaque.jpg" height="320" width="247" /></a></div>
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The above is from a plaque that will grace our son's wall. Most of you know that when he joined our family at 18 months, his name was Christian Micah. We chose to honor his birth family and his first months (he knew his name very well) by keeping that name but also adding another middle name, Caleb.<br />
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Recently, he has decided to fully follow Jesus and has also requested to go by his middle name. Partially because it is so much shorter and easier to write. :-) After prayerfully considering his request and with a great deal of input from him, he will now go by Caleb.<br />
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The words on the plaque that will hang in his room are all taken from scriptures about Caleb in the Bible. (You can read about him in Numbers 13-14 and Joshua 15.) We believe they are a prophetic declaration of who our Son is becoming as he puts his faith in his Savior, Jesus.<br />
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Please join us in celebrating his decision to move fully forward into the future God has for him.<br />
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<br />We know first-hand just how hard it is to change what you call someone. (They make it sound so easy in the Bible when they say his name was changed from Saul to Paul or Abram to Abraham.) There is much grace extended to all in this transition to his middle name. He actually answers well to both names and they are both a part of who he is. We will be happy to gently remind you as we often have to remind ourselves.<br />
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We are having an official name change ceremony as we celebrate his Gotcha Day this year at the beginning of May. <span style="font-size: large;"><b>If you would like to email us a prayer or a word, we would love to read those over him and save them for his future.</b></span>Angelahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17901294526605293502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3818665836824448276.post-16579979835275451572015-04-05T09:56:00.000-05:002015-04-05T09:56:03.760-05:00Telling My Kids My Own Adoption Story<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpvICk_H_5YaX7s3eI-YYSojizQFrzsC2cjo2oVhPIjHNljX4KHoYSJ7TB9K7NqysAt9FqVjSUZuroMR18cd25h1HPp_cdpGp_U1oVPSKUaEnKnoybOHglYtq_XFTTNuXyYnA4WOlYAI8/s1600/Kopplin+Edits01_3.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpvICk_H_5YaX7s3eI-YYSojizQFrzsC2cjo2oVhPIjHNljX4KHoYSJ7TB9K7NqysAt9FqVjSUZuroMR18cd25h1HPp_cdpGp_U1oVPSKUaEnKnoybOHglYtq_XFTTNuXyYnA4WOlYAI8/s1600/Kopplin+Edits01_3.JPG" height="213" width="320" /></a>As an adult adoptee with children, one of them adopted, talking about my own adoption experience can be challenging, especially on the tougher parts of the story. First, let me give you some background.<br />
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I was placed with my adoptive family at 1 year but not officially adopted until I was 8. In between I had regular, weekend visitations with my birth parents who were divorced. One weekend, I was with my dad and the next with my mom. It was confusing, to say the least. At 8, the judge decreed that time was up and I was no longer allow contact with my birth mom until I hit adulthood. My birth dad stayed in my life for the next 7 years because my adoptive parents were his parents. As a teen, his issues were big enough that he disappeared one night and I didn't hear from him again until I was married with kids.<br />
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When I had my first daughter, I fully invited my birth mom and her family including my step-father, a half brother and a huge extended family back into my life. I loved having more grandparents to dote on my children and I enjoyed getting to know her as an adult.<br />
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When my daughters got older, things got a little more confusing trying to keep the grandparents straight. I would tell stories about growing up with my adoptive mom but they also knew my birth mom and wondered why she wasn't in those stories. Then there were the family trees they had to make for school. How, exactly, do you fit two families on one side of a family tree?<br />
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After much prayer, I knew that honesty, even about the hard parts of my adoption story was the only way to go. Of course, I had to keep it age-appropriate. When they were younger, I simply told them I was blessed to have two mommies and daddies who cared for and loved me. I followed that up with pointing out that they had more grandparents than most other kids because of it.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiguOsQmyHTU-cTDcg7K1zu9aUu7C7D2yUga-T8Z9DwWDolKwscB2t_QDszbzbyqlGwdwNo2w3vOQ8PfeoOOhlzba8ghR_lpcMx6wgCDhMEjYZcG6HgpB2dCxDvKOg_0ULsjIb0RaWTPTU/s1600/Scan_Pic0016.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiguOsQmyHTU-cTDcg7K1zu9aUu7C7D2yUga-T8Z9DwWDolKwscB2t_QDszbzbyqlGwdwNo2w3vOQ8PfeoOOhlzba8ghR_lpcMx6wgCDhMEjYZcG6HgpB2dCxDvKOg_0ULsjIb0RaWTPTU/s1600/Scan_Pic0016.jpg" height="320" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">With my birth family</td></tr>
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As my daughters got older, they noticed things like how my adoptive mom has no contact with my birth mom. They also noticed that I had very few stories about my birth mom and began to wonder why. That is when I began telling them more details. I shared with them how young my birth family was when I entered the world. As pre-teens they tried to imagine having a baby at 15 and couldn't. I shared with them, that just like we make mistakes, my birth parents made mistakes when they were young that led to my adoption. I didn't go into any details about those mistakes. My kids only know a loving grandma, they don't need the past dredged up any more than I do. I also shared with them how I have forgiven my birth parents for those mistakes and for
not being able to parent me. Just like how God forgives us when we mess
up. I shared how much I enjoy my relationship with my birth mom now.<br />
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I also talked about how, even though I love my birth parents, I don't regret being raised by my adoptive parents. They loved me and cared for me and weren't perfect (just like I'm not a perfect parent.) I told my children that I wouldn't be who I am today if I hadn't been raised by my adoptive parents. I might not have met their dad or had them if I hadn't been raised by my adoptive parents. Every time I shared some part of my story I let my children know that both of their sets of grandparents are an important part of our lives.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIDu2padE5MTVAhhSoK50RUA6dJD00FFbYzLuj10PESBmn4QX2ayjBqtaLkpOpSY-6AnLFEXIOGzlGy8YjmN9bJ9Yc_WFW3KlVuE3InaC3UYAj52G6OwdoGoHuXtQVqKQ00kZjTTmCYNo/s1600/Granny,+Pop,+Angel+as+toddler.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIDu2padE5MTVAhhSoK50RUA6dJD00FFbYzLuj10PESBmn4QX2ayjBqtaLkpOpSY-6AnLFEXIOGzlGy8YjmN9bJ9Yc_WFW3KlVuE3InaC3UYAj52G6OwdoGoHuXtQVqKQ00kZjTTmCYNo/s1600/Granny,+Pop,+Angel+as+toddler.jpg" height="320" width="287" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">With my adoptive family</td></tr>
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Now, I do handle things a bit differently with my adopted son who is much younger than his siblings. Because of the parallels in our stories, I have found myself sharing a lot more with him as we talk about his story and the hard parts of it. I remind him that I was adopted just like him. I remind him that I was with my birth parents for about a year, just like him. We talk about the fact that we both have two sets of parents and that BOTH are important to who we are and where we come from. I tell him I understand when he feels frustrated or wishes he could be with his birth family.<br />
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Honestly, this is the best part of being an adoptee who has adopted. When he feels frustrated or has behaviors that are uniquely from an adoptee, I can tell him I understand...because I really do. I remember feeling the way he felt and more. I remember trying to control everything and everyone around me because my life was out of control. I remember pushing people who loved me away. Rejecting them before they could reject me.<br />
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My birth children are teens now and they accept things as they are. Their family tree is a bit wider on one side than the other to accommodate both the adoptive and birth family we claim as our extended family. My adopted son seems to take comfort in both of us having walked this road. For that matter, his family tree is even crazier than my teens. He has my birth and adopted family PLUS his own birth family to add in there some day.<br />
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Overall, the biggest thing that is important for all of my children to understand about adoption is that both my adoptive family and my birth family are important to who I am. One gave me life, a history, and a heritage. The other cared for my life, walked through the good, the bad and the ugly with me, and gave me an additional history and heritage. I treasure and cherish both and desire them to do the same.Angelahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17901294526605293502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3818665836824448276.post-38882973826999818242015-02-05T21:40:00.001-06:002015-02-05T21:41:03.785-06:00Adopting a Toddler Part 3 - The First YearIf you missed the first two parts, go <a href="http://regardinglifematters.blogspot.com/2015/01/adopting-toddler-part-1-call-and-meeting.html" target="_blank">here</a>.<br />
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Within ten days we headed home from Florida to truly begin our lives as a family of five. The moment we arrived we scrambled to toddler-proof the main part of the house adding gates, outlet plugs and the like.<br />
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We quickly discovered a few things:<br />
1. He loved to play outside.<br />
2. He slept through the night about as well as a colicky newborn.<br />
3. When he awoke to our attempts to comfort his cries turned to rage.<br />
4. We could go nowhere with him for fear his tantrums would get him hurt or us arrested.<br />
5. His needs were exhausting.<br />
6. He loved to cuddle and hug, read books on our laps and rock before bedtimes.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihGNDq4P3M3dCqXisE63mf3Dafl2rDi0OVBVYa3JnpTEaXuIvtBbae7CXsKLeN7Xf0IWWXaFGyjOMJwfahz-FAecPsl78dYN0kfC9gpCDxUCMY7a4uThM6VqmyrQPbEQaFe0Vdu1Sk1-M/s1600/100_1350.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihGNDq4P3M3dCqXisE63mf3Dafl2rDi0OVBVYa3JnpTEaXuIvtBbae7CXsKLeN7Xf0IWWXaFGyjOMJwfahz-FAecPsl78dYN0kfC9gpCDxUCMY7a4uThM6VqmyrQPbEQaFe0Vdu1Sk1-M/s1600/100_1350.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Still unsure - just a couple months after he came home. </td></tr>
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We devoured books on older child and toddler adoption and prayed for patience and wisdom in our every dealing with him. I learned to carry a toddler weighing about 1/3 of my weight on my hip...constantly. My arms were like jelly by the end of the night but just the fact that he wanted up in my arms was worth it.<br />
<br />
We did all we could to bond. We kept visitors to a minimum and fed him even though he was capable of feeding himself. We rocked and sang and played fun games smiling and looking at each other. We established a routine and stuck to it. The routine was a type of lifeline for him in an otherwise mixed up world.<br />
<br />
We responded immediately every time he cried at night, patting, soothing and comforting. My husband's work day started at 3 am so he took the first shift and I took the second.<br />
<br />
We slowly transitioned his food to our diet and he discovered dozens and dozens of beloved foods. He also drank more water per day than an adult. We kept the water where he could always reach it because he would panic without it available.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBHLtTKV3slLqwxI8m3F1S_mSPx1Q8m918X16LgxGYVPHUKSwqQDn233Dr3o9cdptfuQLzvVIG7i0C65B9ZZXQB3YxFJCRH_-9gVjIoPEKxIyqq4pmdrUtCJ0wba_kks3cWLZUM-qN0xw/s1600/DSC02790.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBHLtTKV3slLqwxI8m3F1S_mSPx1Q8m918X16LgxGYVPHUKSwqQDn233Dr3o9cdptfuQLzvVIG7i0C65B9ZZXQB3YxFJCRH_-9gVjIoPEKxIyqq4pmdrUtCJ0wba_kks3cWLZUM-qN0xw/s1600/DSC02790.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The sisters brought smiles no matter the craziness.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Gradually, over the course of about four months, the nighttime cries came less frequently and the dangerous tantrums more rare. Then his birthday arrived. We can only assume his birthday party brought memories of his life before us. He digressed in his behavior toward us nearly to what it was in the beginning. So we got on our knees and prayed for strength and continued to love.<br />
<br />
A couple months later, the new year was beginning and we woke up one morning to realize he had slept through the night. That night's sleep was the sweetest. Those sleep-filled nights became more and more frequent as we neared the coveted finalization day. (His final adoption was delayed due to the birth father not cooperating with the adoption.)<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjboeUeyL8scU58uTbiMkxu2rJg6a15hHeIWIlZ_iyiQiFA4AAb7A1I6swiWdN8exflVBwPgMf2m7_6f8CJKZ_jKStXBZm8oOntZXc6mEJBffo9Hzb8QWucLgShzgQd1O0YnbIGoZ2Q1Go/s1600/DSC02655.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjboeUeyL8scU58uTbiMkxu2rJg6a15hHeIWIlZ_iyiQiFA4AAb7A1I6swiWdN8exflVBwPgMf2m7_6f8CJKZ_jKStXBZm8oOntZXc6mEJBffo9Hzb8QWucLgShzgQd1O0YnbIGoZ2Q1Go/s1600/DSC02655.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We lived for that bright smile!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Looking back we wish we had done some things differently. Namely, asking for help. We were exhausted and overwhelmed
and lonely because he wasn't ready for visitors. We should have reached
out to our friends and asked for them to do something special with our
older children, regularly because they were being lost in his needs.We
should have asked for shopping help since we couldn't really take him
out safely those early months. We should have asked for laundry or meal
help for the days when just caring for his hurt and needs left us
drained emotionally and physically. If I walk that path again, I will definitely not try to go it alone!<br />
<br />
And then, just a couple of weeks after the finalization, came our 2nd Mother's Day together. The previous Mother's Day had been the stuff of nightmares. This one began with my husband and son bringing me breakfast in bed. As they left to let me wake up slowly, my son yelled through the closing door, "I love you, Mom!"<br />
<br />
Yep, I melted. The difference a year made was so beyond imagining that all I could do was cry and thank Jesus for caring for and working healing in my son. No, it wasn't all perfect but that was the clearest ray of hope we had yet received. I remembered that sweet smile and that declaration many times when his fears and hurt would cause different words to come out of his mouth.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmbdyHbrqrp46febWvV_MNbcN9HAqxNbps2l-dZcrQsgqr02RPzDNEVsOSKmoupUE2OQE6n2rEG_2CTGj8_kBgsailNy-qeYkY4_dnzBmthyphenhyphenPPcSAAvMx-KsV2T5uVv-gI8SZ0xYnBLYE/s1600/DSC02876.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmbdyHbrqrp46febWvV_MNbcN9HAqxNbps2l-dZcrQsgqr02RPzDNEVsOSKmoupUE2OQE6n2rEG_2CTGj8_kBgsailNy-qeYkY4_dnzBmthyphenhyphenPPcSAAvMx-KsV2T5uVv-gI8SZ0xYnBLYE/s1600/DSC02876.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">2nd Mother's Day Fun</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><i>Read my Adopting a Toddler Tutorial <a href="http://regardinglifematters.blogspot.com/p/mini-adoption-tutorials.html" target="_blank">here</a>.</i></span><br />
<br />Angelahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17901294526605293502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3818665836824448276.post-54472091084035867562015-01-29T23:19:00.000-06:002015-02-05T21:40:49.320-06:00Adopting a Toddler Part 2 - A Hard Lesson<i><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">If you missed the first part of this series, catch it <a href="http://regardinglifematters.blogspot.com/2015/01/adopting-toddler-part-1-call-and-meeting.html" target="_blank">here</a>.</span> </i><br />
<br />
<br />
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After what seemed a
very long time, we finally loaded him into our borrowed car seat so we could
grab dinner on the way to the hotel for our first night as a family of five.
There was no turning back because he was here and we had paid and signed the
papers. </div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnMCWOLXc0XaDMVGGSOfW0G7MVWGIFTwmXLaq0xNR-f8I7ZCzg3m-BjqxfEGsouS1mqMATC3LhoCmgcQQQvi4lJuvQ-EJiCOMbC72FgB62o3VLzPZ8Ar4Sal-fq_HJGoqqpxCMqBgQA2g/s1600/DSC01518.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnMCWOLXc0XaDMVGGSOfW0G7MVWGIFTwmXLaq0xNR-f8I7ZCzg3m-BjqxfEGsouS1mqMATC3LhoCmgcQQQvi4lJuvQ-EJiCOMbC72FgB62o3VLzPZ8Ar4Sal-fq_HJGoqqpxCMqBgQA2g/s1600/DSC01518.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Our first moments in the car...just pulling away.</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Despite the fact
that I asked the foster family every question I could think of at the time, I
had a dozen more before we hit the drive-thru. I didn't know what to order for
him, I didn't know what he would eat, and they hadn't told me that he thought his
ear-splitting screech was tremendously funny. Add to that, every time I looked
into the backseat, there was a third person there. Not a baby who only has a
few basic needs but a screeching, hurting, adorable, 35 pound, well-muscled
toddler who could almost outrun all of us. (Read your <i>What to Expect the 2nd Year</i> book...it says toddlers LEARN to run around 18 months. Our little guys was
already quite adept at running.)</div>
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Honestly, that first
night was not glorious. It was hard as we remembered how to diaper a wiggly
child, discovered he didn't want to eat any of the food we bought, and cried
himself to sleep not wanting any comfort at all from us.</div>
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The next day we headed to a borrowed condo about an hour away. It was the absolute worst place for a busy toddler being filled with breakables and floor to ceiling mirrors but it was free and right on the beach. There was no way to try and establish a routine that first day so we concentrated on fun and love. We moved in, pulled out toys, visited the beach, and did some shopping after he cried himself to sleep again.</div>
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The next day we were scheduled to visit his birth mother at a restaurant of her choosing. She wanted to see him with us, wanted to meet us. We didn't think it was a good idea. Not good for our son. But the agency insisted that it had to be that way. So we relented.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEqajiEhPed4vNgB4WiBQgrQlCzKhyK-XwFBS-9XhXdq9nW68O_cxHCndxUhUrvUzf7ZNF4Cl-oXadvppmAEvzIode3fH-BX1S6XNZf47t4EdHgqcn727p1l2rgVHEcNqH86N39jHfoU4/s1600/DSC01532.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEqajiEhPed4vNgB4WiBQgrQlCzKhyK-XwFBS-9XhXdq9nW68O_cxHCndxUhUrvUzf7ZNF4Cl-oXadvppmAEvzIode3fH-BX1S6XNZf47t4EdHgqcn727p1l2rgVHEcNqH86N39jHfoU4/s1600/DSC01532.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Exhausted after the meeting with his birth mother.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
The meeting was more awful than I could have imagined. The second he saw his birth mom, he went from fairly calm and happy to excited to see her to agitated, hurt, and angry when she wouldn't talk to him or hold him. We tried to hold a conversation while he tried with all his might to get to her or get on her lap. Finally, we had to tag team. One of us stayed with the agency worker and birth mom while the other took Christian around the corner of the noisy, overwhelming Chuck-e-cheese to play where he couldn't see her. We did our best to share our love for her and her daughter and the son we were being entrusted with. We tried to share some of who we were and ask questions. It was beyond awkward and we finally made nap time excuses, took some pictures and walked to our car. Almost instantly our son changed from agitated to smiling and we breathed sighs of relief. Then we looked at the clock and realized that what had felt like three hours was less than one. I was so sad to have only that time with the precious woman who was his mother.</div>
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The day after that meeting was mother's day. The absolute hardest day of my life. Ever. We had been cooped up in the car all the day before so I told my family I would happily put our son down for his nap and my husband could take the girls to the beach for a few hours. I would have a chance to relax while he slept, I thought. But about the time the door clicked shut our previously calm boy began to rage. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz0NNtWcIiWNpk-1k2GWkUlbRXJLNgTnVqFWEQL1cXgdBWBaEhS0qpp6AGT3BgC5XKESN7WImeXb8bUo6Z4ERFsIzBYuIYD6V7_ZATlayRUaq8C8Ruvzt3PXGObxmxq31j7O8acEMQcA4/s1600/DSC01597.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz0NNtWcIiWNpk-1k2GWkUlbRXJLNgTnVqFWEQL1cXgdBWBaEhS0qpp6AGT3BgC5XKESN7WImeXb8bUo6Z4ERFsIzBYuIYD6V7_ZATlayRUaq8C8Ruvzt3PXGObxmxq31j7O8acEMQcA4/s1600/DSC01597.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a>I dropped to the floor, holding on as best I could so he wouldn't smash his head on the tile if his attempt to launch out of my arms succeeded. What followed was three and a half exhausting hours. I sang, I prayed, I held, I let go and stayed close. I cried and talked softly and lovingly. I prayed some more. I sat silent. All the while, he screamed and pushed and kicked and worked to get far away from me. After over an hour, I finally put him in the pack-n-play to give my body a rest and keep him from hurting himself as he writhed around. But I stayed and tried to touch and talk and sing and comfort. When Paul finally returned, I calmly handed our son to him saying he hadn't slept and wouldn't eat but was probably hungry. Then I returned to the bedroom to cry again. I was hurt, overwhelmed, and a little terrified.</div>
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Then God spoke to me and reminded me of all the families I had walked through adoption journeys with. They shared stories of their adopted toddlers pushing away one of the parents for a time. But eventually love won out. And in that remembering I was comforted and strengthened for the task ahead.</div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">There are things in the first part of our adoption journey, I would have done differently. </span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Go <a href="http://regardinglifematters.blogspot.com/p/mini-adoption-tutorials.html">here</a> for a mini-tutorial on adopting a toddler. </span></i><br />
<br />
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Read part 3 <a href="http://regardinglifematters.blogspot.com/2015/02/adopting-toddler-part-3-first-year.html" target="_blank">here</a>. </span></i>Angelahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17901294526605293502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3818665836824448276.post-57572225245856790752015-01-16T16:19:00.000-06:002015-02-05T20:38:05.903-06:00Adopting a Toddler Part 1 - The Call and the MeetingWhen we began our adoption journey, we already had 8 and 10 year old girls and didn't feel the driving need to adopt a newborn. We talked with our consultant and were told that infants are most commonly available via domestic adoption. We considered foster care but didn't believe that was the right direction. So, we started down the path of domestic adoption. We prepared our hearts for an infant but inside we both were hoping for an older child.<br />
<br />
So we made sure our home study approved us for a child up to two years old. Just in case.<br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgn6TVR5KVZ72ThwhJgdHLm8JtHwu6ApJxE5hPBE4n3xUoL_D4VNijDfLqTeOWzE3m2BXrmKe8LnBeGsJVeCGm4lpc0ZTVijaHB5WchH_ipjJP7bu0ZNDu5ASQpzHP64VKLkA8DTCCvpgQ/s1600/First+Pic+of+C+Via+Text.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgn6TVR5KVZ72ThwhJgdHLm8JtHwu6ApJxE5hPBE4n3xUoL_D4VNijDfLqTeOWzE3m2BXrmKe8LnBeGsJVeCGm4lpc0ZTVijaHB5WchH_ipjJP7bu0ZNDu5ASQpzHP64VKLkA8DTCCvpgQ/s1600/First+Pic+of+C+Via+Text.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The picture texted to us by the agency when we said yes.</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Less than two months after completing our home study, we were matched with a lovely young mama living in our area. We connected with her and her family very quickly and prepared for the infant to be born in less than two months. This sweet mama chose to parent once she met her little one and we put away the items we bought, while waiting for the little one God had for us.<br />
<br />
A few months later, we received an unexpected call. Without much introduction they asked if we were interesting in adopting an 18 month old boy. After praying, the answer was yes!<br />
<br />
What came next was a flurry of activity as we packed, completed some additional paperwork from the agency, informed our friends and family, and gathered funds before beginning a long 22 hour drive to Florida. From the time we got the call to the moment we met our son was less than 36 hours, including the drive.<br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwf5DlyOsGvf2Sq7pmb-ZQDV4zeW13iJKCsaquAY5d9_IKW0cW5P6w0u6dFJZHGcE5thrmO39FuRXEgtyFuZYzBGwum6FBTP0TOz9EGbemkGxAwlWwKSQs5xNvzns22UzFFpYgTiIXQqQ/s1600/DSC01493.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwf5DlyOsGvf2Sq7pmb-ZQDV4zeW13iJKCsaquAY5d9_IKW0cW5P6w0u6dFJZHGcE5thrmO39FuRXEgtyFuZYzBGwum6FBTP0TOz9EGbemkGxAwlWwKSQs5xNvzns22UzFFpYgTiIXQqQ/s1600/DSC01493.JPG" height="200" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Our girls watching for him.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
After signing papers and writing checks, we headed outside to watch for our son's arrival. As we sat in the agency parking lot waiting for the foster family, the reality hit me.<br />
<br />
I was not adopting an infant but a little boy who had already lived 18 months and had over a year and a half's worth of experiences that I had no control over.<br />
<br />
When he arrived, I quickly realized I was out of my depth. My children were so much older, I didn't remember how to interact with an active 18 month old...who could run...very fast...away from everyone while grinning from ear to ear.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrCHEFcCy3jwhRbmpWz1K5lKTsOIprMP1Tm_nO9RsvKxOMa4DxI4tbD5ZtZddC3irc0jEoHaI8pWlRASh6tPRKQv6BzPbsNUT84CeoYfJ1LOcnGUB6OapuI40X6WXI4YLKlw_CiJ3CfgA/s1600/DSC01505.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrCHEFcCy3jwhRbmpWz1K5lKTsOIprMP1Tm_nO9RsvKxOMa4DxI4tbD5ZtZddC3irc0jEoHaI8pWlRASh6tPRKQv6BzPbsNUT84CeoYfJ1LOcnGUB6OapuI40X6WXI4YLKlw_CiJ3CfgA/s1600/DSC01505.JPG" height="150" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Trying to get down...to run again.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
I was bombarded by doubts about my ability to parent him, to meet his needs in the face of such great loss, to even figure out how to corral him with the foster family and two agency staff watching. Trying to hide my discomfort, I talked to him, we chased, we played and we offered snacks. All the while, I was thinking, "I can't do this, I don't know how!"<br />
<br />
While I definitely thought my new son was the cutest little boy I had ever seen, I did not feel instantly bonded, attached, or drawn to him. As I struggled to find my equilibrium, I prayed for him, prayed for his transition to our family and prayed for myself.<br />
<br />
Little did I know that the next months would cause me to pray more intensely and experience more love and joy over that little boy than I could ever have imagined. Part 2 <a href="http://regardinglifematters.blogspot.com/2015/01/adopting-toddler-part-2-hard-lesson.html" target="_blank">here</a>.<br />
<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqUI13pCzGFFtWB7opYHKwFJIUWGgE93lXTNnc5MJ9Me8ELl6drprtzqSU3tS_KiGsmne7TEK7ccRm7WmJxSLtZX1A6N5PVso8euZrwajB_qmqOeegute1wAuufG9jrrLoQvkLrwDgsT8/s1600/DSC01511Cropped.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqUI13pCzGFFtWB7opYHKwFJIUWGgE93lXTNnc5MJ9Me8ELl6drprtzqSU3tS_KiGsmne7TEK7ccRm7WmJxSLtZX1A6N5PVso8euZrwajB_qmqOeegute1wAuufG9jrrLoQvkLrwDgsT8/s1600/DSC01511Cropped.jpg" height="192" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The only time he wasn't running away was if he was eating...</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinQASpl5SG59_4JjXy4ppbmgIpaxKcNNXOA1HhOV1Wk-QohiyylZNcw1Ttt2hbWYgEtJ45HvH6fxf18kkiPGCO5zTzBP2vsjytrjp1nv5-Rxfjg-IRY-Sx-4F-QNBugT1xt-ULlG6WQt8/s1600/DSC01515.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinQASpl5SG59_4JjXy4ppbmgIpaxKcNNXOA1HhOV1Wk-QohiyylZNcw1Ttt2hbWYgEtJ45HvH6fxf18kkiPGCO5zTzBP2vsjytrjp1nv5-Rxfjg-IRY-Sx-4F-QNBugT1xt-ULlG6WQt8/s1600/DSC01515.JPG" height="150" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">or on top of Dad's shoulders.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<br />Angelahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17901294526605293502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3818665836824448276.post-58238001423307960242014-12-16T16:22:00.001-06:002014-12-16T16:22:33.125-06:00Hanukkah BeginsIn just an hour, we will begin our Hanukkah celebration. No, we aren't Jewish, but over the past few <br />
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years, we have felt drawn more and more to the Biblical celebrations. Our family now incorporates many of the yearly feasts, though not exactly like our Jewish brethren, I'm sure.<br />
<br />
We have discovered a profound sense of nearness to God when we take the time to celebrate the feasts He lovingly set out for His people.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2LcKDAKOsYjJq07XLxIpJ4fS0BOpJeQ6MMnwKP5ZO9fgQ5KsF_q2Zjul5OW9gXKHIDZYPdE_rR8_uUOjflKKVoHC1ZqnYNKjVMJTw4ry4q4Nj2jL6zAa_Bnp3GB9O_DMuwzhsbkcONKY/s1600/Jesus+Menorah.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2LcKDAKOsYjJq07XLxIpJ4fS0BOpJeQ6MMnwKP5ZO9fgQ5KsF_q2Zjul5OW9gXKHIDZYPdE_rR8_uUOjflKKVoHC1ZqnYNKjVMJTw4ry4q4Nj2jL6zAa_Bnp3GB9O_DMuwzhsbkcONKY/s1600/Jesus+Menorah.png" height="222" width="320" /></a>Many would argue that Hanukkah is not a Biblical feast. Actually, it is mentioned in John 10:22 by one of its other names, The Feast of Dedication. It is also called the Feast of Lights. Want to learn more about how this celebration applies to Christians? Our good friend Bill, recently posted this webinar and we encourage you to watch it <a href="http://billebert.com/disciple/?p=728" target="_blank">here</a>. (P.S., We also took the picture above from his webinar. We love what it represents! Thanks, Bill!)<br />
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Each year we have done this, we have created new traditions for our family. This year Christian is old enough to really understand and notice the difference between our December celebrations and those around us who celebrate Christmas "all the way". Therefore, we have the privilege to include him in learning about why and how we celebrate Hanukkah.<br />
<br />
One of the additions to our Hanukkah tradition this year is a mini-devotional on one of Jesus' names. We'll be doing one each night of Hanukkah. We chose these particular names because they have extra significance for us this year or because we felt Christian, as the youngest in our crew, would best be able to identify with them. We share our first devotional with you here and we welcome questions about how we incorporate the Jewish Feasts into our family's traditions.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg22A5oY-_LxiXmkZ5GEFGSqKjaSQ8QDKbb5AOqYoiYxEWgrJkYCQ_J6C88RlpD0e7mt-jyFyAfVEFOurQffT84DY3KHBkWwnylloDZ6-dsvxJy4DEdezOKgckwavHi_c8uGqOsVh8MT58/s1600/Light.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg22A5oY-_LxiXmkZ5GEFGSqKjaSQ8QDKbb5AOqYoiYxEWgrJkYCQ_J6C88RlpD0e7mt-jyFyAfVEFOurQffT84DY3KHBkWwnylloDZ6-dsvxJy4DEdezOKgckwavHi_c8uGqOsVh8MT58/s1600/Light.jpg" height="150" width="200" /></a><b><span style="font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Day 1 - Light of the
World<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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John 9:5: Jesus said,
“As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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In the Temple, there was a magnificent golden lamp stand burning
all the time. In John, when Jesus is standing in the courtyard declaring himself
to be the light of the world, He was likely standing in the courtyard of the
temple rebuilt after the Babylonian captivity. The candles were undoubtedly glowing
brilliantly, but their light dimmed beside Jesus.<o:p></o:p></div>
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When John wrote the book of John he said this about Jesus:
“In Him was life; and the life was the light of men.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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Darkness is the domain of Satan. It says in Epehsians 6:12:
For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil
rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark
world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.<o:p></o:p></div>
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In John 8:12 Jesus said, “I am the world’s Light. No one who
follows me stumbles around in darkness. I provide plenty of light to live in.” In John 12:46, He said, “I am the Light who
has come into the world so that all who believe in me won’t have to stay any
longer in the dark.” <o:p></o:p></div>
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This means that if we are walking with Jesus, darkness
cannot beat us. Jesus said these things for those with Him when he was on earth
and for all on earth who choose to believe in Him after He went back to heaven.
When Jesus was preparing His disciples about His going away to the Father, He
said in John 12:35, “For a brief time still, the Light is among you. Walk by
the Light so darkness doesn’t destroy you.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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Jesus will continue to be the Light in the future when He
returns to rule the Earth. In Revelation 21:23, it says: The City (Zion where
God will dwell) doesn’t need sun or moon for light. God’s Glory is its light,
the Lamb its lamp!<o:p></o:p></div>
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Who is the Lamb? (pause and see if Christian or someone can
answer) That’s right, Jesus! He can keep us from darkness now and He will be
the Light of the World in the future for those who get to be with Him forever.</div>
<o:p></o:p><br />
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<br />Angelahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17901294526605293502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3818665836824448276.post-35118421940585068872014-11-09T08:43:00.002-06:002014-11-09T08:43:55.808-06:00Gotcha Day<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-8actCXdHKoo/VF98tK7PdWI/AAAAAAAAAJ8/3c7XWS4Xdx0/s1600/Celebrate.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-8actCXdHKoo/VF98tK7PdWI/AAAAAAAAAJ8/3c7XWS4Xdx0/s1600/Celebrate.jpg" height="320" width="255" /></a>A friend of mine recently posted on her facebook that all adoptive families should stop using the term "Gotcha Day" to refer to the day their children joined their families. She said, adoptees are not things to be gotcha'd."<br />
<br />
I've been thinking about that term ever since I engaged her in a discussion on it but I thought I would expound here. (Let me first say that I sincerely respect my friend who posted that comment on facebook. She is an adoptee and one of the smartest women of my acquaintance! Her comment has challenged me to really pray and consider this issue.)<br />
<br />
Gotcha Days originated as a way to differentiate a child's birthday or finalization day from the day they were placed into waiting parents arms. From my perspective it is a cute term coined by parents to try and help their very young children understand the difference between how they and biological siblings joined their family. I picture it like when I chased my toddlers and preschoolers around the house and once I caught them we hugged and tickled as I exclaimed "Gotcha!" Or when we scoop up a child who just fell and comfort them with "I gotcha." Gotcha Day celebrations are intended to help adopted children understand just how much they are wanted and cherished.<br />
<br />
Since that time, many adoptees have shared that the term bothers them deeply. I am adoptee and I have never been offended by the term Gotcha Day. I can't even say the word with anything other than a smile. I know the people who coined the term never intended for it to be taken as hurtful or offensive. Most parents who use it do so because it is a warm and friendly way to denote a very special day; a short way to say "the day you joined our family."<br />
<br />
Opponents of the term feel it cheapens the day and is completely insufficient to express the importance of a child's homecoming. Adoptees report that calling it a Gotcha day makes it feel like they've been stolen. A number of adoptive parents agree that the term doesn't sit well with them and even go so far as reporting that it smacks of kidnapping.<br />
<br />
Each family really needs to decide for themselves how they will celebrate (or not) the day their children joined their family and what they will call it. We can nearly always find someone who will be offended by a term no matter what we choose to call a special day. I will even say I believe one term may be appropriate for a 3 year old and be changed when celebrating a 13 year old. Additionally, I know many older adoptees who consider their Gotcha Day to be special and sweet because their family made it so.<br />
<br />
No matter what we call this day, for families whose children came to them well after a birthday, it provides a wonderful opportunity to celebrate that, tell the child stories of their homecoming and remind them just how much they are loved by their first family and their forever family.<br />
<br />
So, to end this discussion, I will give you some alternative ideas in case the term 'Gotcha Day' doesn't suit your family.<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Forever and Ever Day</li>
<li>Beth's Day (where your child's name is used)</li>
<li>Adoption Day</li>
<li>Family Day</li>
<li>Family Anniversary Day</li>
<li>Homecoming Day</li>
<li>Forever Family Day</li>
<li>Hug Day (one family used this because of all the hugs, holding and loving of the original day)</li>
<li>Arrival Day</li>
<li>Happy You Came Day</li>
</ul>
<br />
Whatever you call it, make sure your children know they are loved, wanted, and cherished!<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3818665836824448276.post-59155571902017565012014-10-01T15:59:00.000-05:002014-10-01T15:59:37.010-05:00Which is Right for Us?<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhN74fhMiQv3lFk0rEvaAWCRic5Baz2cSpjrUcYeINnndDYf59dyls56b4hQbAr1YIVdBumZA7WyyuqtMdbVu-y3opb0vW2V5dC3LKdxZv7fNB_rPLHnEyYVkDlSC8kJWiPDQUV33vs8Q0/s1600/DSC01597.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhN74fhMiQv3lFk0rEvaAWCRic5Baz2cSpjrUcYeINnndDYf59dyls56b4hQbAr1YIVdBumZA7WyyuqtMdbVu-y3opb0vW2V5dC3LKdxZv7fNB_rPLHnEyYVkDlSC8kJWiPDQUV33vs8Q0/s1600/DSC01597.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've had a dozen conversations with families over the years that started something like: "I think we want to adopt internationally so we don't have to deal with the birth mom."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Or</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Domestic adoption seems so much easier!"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">International and domestic adoption both have many joys and challenges. Each process is unique and each family must decide which is right for them and how the Lord is leading them.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Here are some things to think about when considering these two routes to building your family:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMkwuq9QpKsSzGNZRKZv1xPNsNwSpdvKASCl1DATlkK3m9AjJKZG_yx-zHWl40BE4IIL-BnhVOdw0Xm4-fLsaelCA4Rx_t_wkMWGbT9LWV-wCm1Q2SF9H2yt3_DfuPvN-_jpQoX_7oOY0/s1600/Babies+April+2006+040.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></a><br />
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></h3>
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>International adoption may be a good fit for your family if:</i></span></h3>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMkwuq9QpKsSzGNZRKZv1xPNsNwSpdvKASCl1DATlkK3m9AjJKZG_yx-zHWl40BE4IIL-BnhVOdw0Xm4-fLsaelCA4Rx_t_wkMWGbT9LWV-wCm1Q2SF9H2yt3_DfuPvN-_jpQoX_7oOY0/s1600/Babies+April+2006+040.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMkwuq9QpKsSzGNZRKZv1xPNsNwSpdvKASCl1DATlkK3m9AjJKZG_yx-zHWl40BE4IIL-BnhVOdw0Xm4-fLsaelCA4Rx_t_wkMWGbT9LWV-wCm1Q2SF9H2yt3_DfuPvN-_jpQoX_7oOY0/s1600/Babies+April+2006+040.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You love to travel or experience and embrace new cultures. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You are open to an older infant, toddler, preschooler or older child.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You are interested in a group of siblings.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You are willing to walk through language and attachment barriers to redeem one of His precious children.</span></li>
</ul>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhN74fhMiQv3lFk0rEvaAWCRic5Baz2cSpjrUcYeINnndDYf59dyls56b4hQbAr1YIVdBumZA7WyyuqtMdbVu-y3opb0vW2V5dC3LKdxZv7fNB_rPLHnEyYVkDlSC8kJWiPDQUV33vs8Q0/s1600/DSC01597.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Domestic adoption may be a good fit for your family if:</i></span></h3>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The thought of getting a passport and eating unfamiliar food makes you cringe.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Your heart is set on adopting a newborn infant.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You are mostly interested in one child or twins.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You are willing to know and embrace your child's birth family showing His love to them even as you revel in the sweet one He gives you to care for.</span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There are many more things to consider including costs, wait times, children available, the process, your family dynamics, and more.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If have been thinking about adoption and would like to discuss the joys, challenges, and process, please contact me at 816-237-8242 or angela@christianadoptionconsultants.com.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span></div>
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<br />
<ul>
<li>We sold our house and had to move out in 2 1/2 weeks.</li>
<li>We lived in an empty townhouse for a month, sleeping on the floor.</li>
<li>We moved to Alabama and lived in a 31ft travel trailer for five months.</li>
<li>We lived in a partially finished basement for six months...washing our dishes in the bathtub. (Yes, I kept it extra clean.)</li>
<li>In the past two months we have made six 12-hour trips locating a home in KC, visiting family in MI, and moving our things and mini-farm/petting zoo to KC.</li>
</ul>
<div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGenDkpfWNeqE6gCWaBhDlzeI4cnJ80N566x195xHP1TTYAodE7qYHSBU2ykwKfwR3SyqfHXGDBSv2SBPuRXAh5P_eEcyA1V7B-66PygTlrPeKDRcPhF7Vcscueal89eD6gVKe72vIlg4/s1600/Kopplin+Edits01_8.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGenDkpfWNeqE6gCWaBhDlzeI4cnJ80N566x195xHP1TTYAodE7qYHSBU2ykwKfwR3SyqfHXGDBSv2SBPuRXAh5P_eEcyA1V7B-66PygTlrPeKDRcPhF7Vcscueal89eD6gVKe72vIlg4/s1600/Kopplin+Edits01_8.JPG" height="320" width="213" /></a><div>
<br /></div>
Even now the adventure continues as all our stuff is piled in the garage to re-finish the very nasty but now beautiful hardwood floors. The plan was to stay at a friend's house while they vacationed out west and be back in our house by Thursday. As with much of the past year, the plan is not quite working as we had hoped. Therefore the adventure continues and we will be camping out in our new backyard a few days while the poly cures.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I wish I could say I have handled each adventure and change in plans with the utmost of grace.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I remember walking through the basement when we were still crammed into the travel trailer. I looked right and left and frustratingly lamented, "It is NEVER going to be normal again!"</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I immediately heard a quiet whispered response inside, "I know, isn't it great?!"</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
In an instant I realized that the Father was calling me to look beyond my circumstances and find joy and peace in Him. I realized the out-of-control mess and change in plans was part of HIS plan to bring me to a place of greater trust. I realized that it is imperative to my life and my family for me to learn these lessons. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
To not learn these lessons would be to let circumstances determine my course and my happiness. To not learn these lessons would be to teach my children that when things are hard or don't go your way you should be frustrated, upset, angry, or depressed.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Now, back to how I am handling all this adventure. Not perfect. At all. Sometimes I smile and figure out the new plan. Sometimes my initial reaction is a bit less...ummm, happy.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I tell my kids all the time, it isn't how you react to a situation because we all mess up sometimes. It is what you do after your initial poor reaction. Do you allow the bad thoughts, words, or attitude to continue? Or do you repent and turn your heart and ear to the Lord to get His take on the situation.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
There is absolutely no guarantee that the adventure will slow down for us. Though I suspect at some point we will be in our new house and will find a new normal (and all of our stuff).</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
My goal is to find the joy in the craziness. To lean not on my own understanding as I let the God of peace permeate my attitude and home. To show my children how to trust the Lord and be kind when essentially our whole lives are turned upside down.</div>
<div>
<br />I can't help but think this is just a preparation for things to come. May I be found worthy for more adventure.</div>
Angelahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17901294526605293502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3818665836824448276.post-38113229473096928872014-07-29T18:16:00.002-05:002014-07-29T18:16:57.003-05:00Goodbyes and Hello AgainIn just a few days we will be official Missourians again. We closed on our house in Missouri on the 18th, drove to Michigan for our annual family visit up there, and then back to Alabama for a few days of tying up loose ends and goodbyes.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaK_wqGmSZuZreiwIVIhq5f6CK_p9yDvSk9057Qgw157xhtaRFSYcW5Mo0WuohJSHzfAe3GrPgk6JJMP3zl-fvwiDSJloLl0vAZkduNqB6paSIJDYyJGDvRaY643_yEcO7TGU4VR-RfVE/s1600/IMG_20140529_165240_104.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaK_wqGmSZuZreiwIVIhq5f6CK_p9yDvSk9057Qgw157xhtaRFSYcW5Mo0WuohJSHzfAe3GrPgk6JJMP3zl-fvwiDSJloLl0vAZkduNqB6paSIJDYyJGDvRaY643_yEcO7TGU4VR-RfVE/s1600/IMG_20140529_165240_104.jpg" height="200" width="112" /></a>The goodbyes are bittersweet. The people in this community are so very special. They have embraced and loved us and our children so well. Their words, messages, and worship have encouraged us and caused us to grow. This has been a pretty remarkable year.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3wB1uvqahAQG61mwJtkwO-pWYgkkMU2HJDbGbmWKffPwW1uuahJpXY8asr5T6X3xV64Kb16xXZm9HEIpROnrEVQCVwmu0JMXV45r2C_rV2MpSEVbghBmXEGe2ajrJSkcVIHkqVX-6kyw/s1600/IMG_20140706_160152_955.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3wB1uvqahAQG61mwJtkwO-pWYgkkMU2HJDbGbmWKffPwW1uuahJpXY8asr5T6X3xV64Kb16xXZm9HEIpROnrEVQCVwmu0JMXV45r2C_rV2MpSEVbghBmXEGe2ajrJSkcVIHkqVX-6kyw/s1600/IMG_20140706_160152_955.jpg" height="200" width="150" /></a>We say goodbye to some amazing friends, both old and new. Our lives have been enriched by these people. It will be hard to leave.<br />
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We say goodbye to a natural beauty all around us that feeds our souls and draws us closer to God. We will sorely miss the lovely hikes, and clear, spring-fed streams that have been part of our weekly lives down here. We will miss the easy traffic and laid-back pace of this gorgeous community.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnfQIUQorn6X6tp3oisGpQfDT5w6WO5ZXodnHPIp_I3gjiGh4zUMtcS_lPMzveelHG7g0P6GX7Lc7wLEeWQAhZpLe8lBLG3BGLMZE0tsS2swk8Zc0gVNjIW9UeaTjUxDjBzum6TE3f8Ng/s1600/IMG_20140531_140152_195.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnfQIUQorn6X6tp3oisGpQfDT5w6WO5ZXodnHPIp_I3gjiGh4zUMtcS_lPMzveelHG7g0P6GX7Lc7wLEeWQAhZpLe8lBLG3BGLMZE0tsS2swk8Zc0gVNjIW9UeaTjUxDjBzum6TE3f8Ng/s1600/IMG_20140531_140152_195.jpg" height="112" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Our favorite creek just 1 minute from the house.</td></tr>
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As we close this chapter, we look forward to re-connecting with friends, soaking in the prayer room, and creating our own little suburban homestead in Kansas City. Our new house has nearly two acres which some day, Lord-willing, will host a small orchard, a garden and greenhouse, and food-producing animals.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlDEkQHj7mN1rIIg47BcQE-tqQj8yD7D2-Y5_I5FlNlrB4AdWzjdVcuUOccysr7hB82VDKV-DvisgMlVzxrKUHTZU0iMSQQG4lp5en0WLunAO9juSvfPCJznMGsuWMTWi-Y7_ptMNKWt8/s1600/IMG_20140718_145301_849.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlDEkQHj7mN1rIIg47BcQE-tqQj8yD7D2-Y5_I5FlNlrB4AdWzjdVcuUOccysr7hB82VDKV-DvisgMlVzxrKUHTZU0iMSQQG4lp5en0WLunAO9juSvfPCJznMGsuWMTWi-Y7_ptMNKWt8/s1600/IMG_20140718_145301_849.jpg" height="180" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Part of our backyard.</td></tr>
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Say a prayer for me as my car will hold Isobel's mini-farm menagerie for the 12-14 hour trip Saturday. My car will be filled with 5 chickens, 6 rabbits, 2 cats, 1 dog, 1 turtle, and dozens of aquatic animals. I offered to drive the moving truck for Paul. He didn't accept.<br />
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A number have asked us what we will be doing in Kansas City. We don't have a clear picture of what the Lord has for us there. So we purpose to follow His leading and keep our hearts open to His plans and purpose for us.<br />
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Please pray with us for the trip, for Christian's transition, and for Christian starting preschool the Monday after we move. Here's to quite a crazy year of moving, travels and learning to go with the flow.<br />
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<br />Angelahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17901294526605293502noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3818665836824448276.post-42670744720807796802014-07-11T21:21:00.001-05:002014-07-11T21:21:22.102-05:00Mission Trip RecapFirst, thank you to those who supported our mission trip. It was great! We are so impressed with the mission organization we went with (groupmissions.com). They were organized, God focused, and connected us with truly life-changing projects.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZXh0qHRB1752Jg6oJjnTtpYPtWstf3bkV25bjkqQ5bcI8AlSz5RpBykONiIchdfs2437lDkpKZRAQXsnGOUFEolxVO6suvtRMYMw9f_FL6SzMD_1rmAfCQhB99M_96CA7qw8zatFCKm0/s1600/IMG_20140614_130140_214.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZXh0qHRB1752Jg6oJjnTtpYPtWstf3bkV25bjkqQ5bcI8AlSz5RpBykONiIchdfs2437lDkpKZRAQXsnGOUFEolxVO6suvtRMYMw9f_FL6SzMD_1rmAfCQhB99M_96CA7qw8zatFCKm0/s1600/IMG_20140614_130140_214.jpg" height="150" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jessica and I on the way to Ohio. <br />This was a stop in beautiful Kentucky.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMsjadj5xENfxbBwgnzbfaakGT2r9Vc4SrOc-b6pZuFWMBMUzJI1I5uEh3wCmJQ69PMhJthwMOjTs6Q6LxQ-YSyQoWaXJq3fsKyvtj3O7R6JtsBlrtGmUO93XU1fjCNlxVLrQ-zh8Cx-s/s1600/YouthGroups+%25288%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMsjadj5xENfxbBwgnzbfaakGT2r9Vc4SrOc-b6pZuFWMBMUzJI1I5uEh3wCmJQ69PMhJthwMOjTs6Q6LxQ-YSyQoWaXJq3fsKyvtj3O7R6JtsBlrtGmUO93XU1fjCNlxVLrQ-zh8Cx-s/s1600/YouthGroups+%25288%2529.jpg" height="180" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Our arrival at the mission trip site where we slept, ate, <br />had worship and fellowshipped.</td></tr>
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<b>A few highlights from our trip:</b><br />
First, Jessica and I were both assigned to jobs that were not tops on our list. We would gladly have switched if we could have. It is a good thing God knew better.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsYAvwE87Vkscs2hW4wRqUzgzOwB0UMxzF2L0m5DIo46_sBrsSAS0g5Rc7owklN9TsYZBneTiuCdms-w9rmWb1WXQ78qCLs9wXTReBXlTdTYiLsKttuMaL2pze38VizcFtlnNhsmBnj4Q/s1600/Crew+1+%252862%2529.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsYAvwE87Vkscs2hW4wRqUzgzOwB0UMxzF2L0m5DIo46_sBrsSAS0g5Rc7owklN9TsYZBneTiuCdms-w9rmWb1WXQ78qCLs9wXTReBXlTdTYiLsKttuMaL2pze38VizcFtlnNhsmBnj4Q/s1600/Crew+1+%252862%2529.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Jessica with her team leader and team. <br />She really connected with this great group of people!</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>In Jessica's Own Words: <span style="line-height: 115%;">The mission trip to Cincinnati, OH was a really
cool week for me personally. It helped me grow a lot in my faith and
friendships.</span><span style="line-height: 115%;"> </span></i></span><br />
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<i style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br />I loved serving, but honestly, my favorite part
was simply hanging out with my team, working with them, doing devotionals with
them, and all that good stuff. When we
were told that we would be serving at a nursing home, I was like, no. That was
exactly the thing I'd told Mom over and over that I didn't want to do, and now
I was stuck doing it for the whole week! I was mad but calmed down pretty
quickly. (Ok, maybe I didn't calm down and Mom had to give me a pep talk, but I
pulled it around.)</span></i></div>
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<span lang="EN"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>So imagine this. You're about to do something you
think you’re gonna hate for six hours a day for a week. That was so me on the
first day of work. But, believe it or not, as soon as I got there, I settled
right in helping some old ladies play dominoes. My team and I ate a nice lunch
outside and did devotions. We got back to base and hung out a little bit before
dinner, worship and bed. <o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh54BdCDR-4xB1cDI3YjiA3NJ0kNVUEm0Y-44mBNhlXlxHqUEQy0qJU2Pznc0-l8yMu75-gLsTaWdwg0VB1YfIAbulIoQHcVmNTCeIXw-nPiVcm_1Onr3Qw1kduvGnj6I7Lqans6SXHuP4/s1600/Crew+1+%252815%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh54BdCDR-4xB1cDI3YjiA3NJ0kNVUEm0Y-44mBNhlXlxHqUEQy0qJU2Pznc0-l8yMu75-gLsTaWdwg0VB1YfIAbulIoQHcVmNTCeIXw-nPiVcm_1Onr3Qw1kduvGnj6I7Lqans6SXHuP4/s1600/Crew+1+%252815%2529.jpg" height="320" width="181" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Taking a resident back to<br />her room after activities.</span></td></tr>
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<span lang="EN"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>Our days were full of fun and stuff like pushing
wheelchairs, playing cards with residents, and sharing good cups of cocoa with
my team, but the most memorable day was the last. It was bittersweet, though,
leaving all the residents we'd come to look forward to seeing as we walked
through those epic-ly structured sliding doors. The last day we got to do some
cool things we hadn't done before. One of my teammates, Izzie, did an Irish
dance, (she is amazing) with Mario at the sound booth, controlling the music.
Our mission trip leader, Chris and I got to sing for the residents. Plus
another team member, Logan, showed his epic hangman skills when none of us
could figure out his sentence. By the end of the day, we were all worn out and
sad about leaving, but it had been a good week overall. <o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>And so at last we left, exchanging emails and
whatnot, sad but happy at the same time. I was convinced I was going to hate
it, but I couldn’t have asked for a better job, and I still thank the Lord for
what he did in me and through me for the residents.</i></span></span><br />
<br />I'm so proud of Jessica. Just the other day we received a call from Lyla, one of the women she spent time with. Lyla wanted to call and tell me how wonderful Jessica was and what a blessing to her during the long, lonely days. She is still thinking about their conversations and enjoying the memory.<br />
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I ended up leading a group of teens and young adults to a Boys and Girls Club. In the mornings we cleaned, organized, and did hard labor around the place. In the afternoons we hung with the neighborhood kids doing everything from dodge ball to arts and crafts and face painting. I didn't go expecting to lead a team so it was a stretch but a good one. The Lord was gracious and filled me with strength despite lack of sleep. (50 girls packed into a few open rooms makes for late nights. :-) One highlight of my time at the club was connecting with a 12 year old deaf girl with great artistic talent.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNQXYYZ4Dq__cfcgXcTl7ZLRrE1cbg8BHnUuok4jSPtDpXSBE1amTcSvfGHslNqforDMCwheD-ChQaj366Rxzly9M4YpqPxJoQLOHThW-5QlEwK7VSilptQLe__SJME-pSvgvdxuilGI0/s1600/Crew+4+%25289%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNQXYYZ4Dq__cfcgXcTl7ZLRrE1cbg8BHnUuok4jSPtDpXSBE1amTcSvfGHslNqforDMCwheD-ChQaj366Rxzly9M4YpqPxJoQLOHThW-5QlEwK7VSilptQLe__SJME-pSvgvdxuilGI0/s1600/Crew+4+%25289%2529.jpg" height="180" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My team - a great group of 'kids'...who worked hard and had fun!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTSMHWpIPGoyXCIoIn6S8TTcgrShYVT3o7flacQrD3uGecW3GexVnvmHsV6Xwoq6blAvXy9GPtEdk-Ksy4o5ZmpGtx71wwzGdhbvBmySCnom4jLZHBpgBUCY-eFv_4KOUCJAXB1zTH67w/s1600/Crew+4+%252823%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTSMHWpIPGoyXCIoIn6S8TTcgrShYVT3o7flacQrD3uGecW3GexVnvmHsV6Xwoq6blAvXy9GPtEdk-Ksy4o5ZmpGtx71wwzGdhbvBmySCnom4jLZHBpgBUCY-eFv_4KOUCJAXB1zTH67w/s1600/Crew+4+%252823%2529.jpg" height="181" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Face painting in the afternoon with the kids. It was a hit!</td></tr>
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Jessica has talked about being a missionary for almost a year. She was sad to leave OH when it was time to return home. One of the biggest things she seemed to learn was to go with the flow and trust that the Lord knows what He is doing even if it doesn't seem to make sense.<br />
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When you think about it, please pray for her and future mission trips. She is still prayerfully consider missions as part of her future.<br />
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Thanks again to everyone who prayed and supported us. It was an amazing and stretching week and a wonderful time for Jessica and I to connect without the other siblings around.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTg8gUaqyn-xtBD2nTGxQPnHg7Ea9RYcxfaLmcbid9bYKB_1CGkkSQvP8tvs19JTTkUptpls06OJHhPmgjgYIT74c0Qe_riU0d7N_h8jcfBOQx4QHmNTuQkGHYLhqDqB8o5ItZdfom_ug/s1600/IMG_20140617_200502_897.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTg8gUaqyn-xtBD2nTGxQPnHg7Ea9RYcxfaLmcbid9bYKB_1CGkkSQvP8tvs19JTTkUptpls06OJHhPmgjgYIT74c0Qe_riU0d7N_h8jcfBOQx4QHmNTuQkGHYLhqDqB8o5ItZdfom_ug/s1600/IMG_20140617_200502_897.jpg" height="180" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We had an evening free. We joined with another <br />team for dessert and exploring downtown Cincinnati.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOySA-vCK-wFCAbej6Bc3Lu3QIu6YZEkPpdT8J85TEEGiCYNQ_7SgVoL7B-DA8B_Rej5kle427msheknd0FLuVZrJ3HQtBD6WJWbxgWhLcoNCPSHs_82NVFR60zzs_0uq9TWwSEPVZw6g/s1600/IMG_20140617_203149_855.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOySA-vCK-wFCAbej6Bc3Lu3QIu6YZEkPpdT8J85TEEGiCYNQ_7SgVoL7B-DA8B_Rej5kle427msheknd0FLuVZrJ3HQtBD6WJWbxgWhLcoNCPSHs_82NVFR60zzs_0uq9TWwSEPVZw6g/s1600/IMG_20140617_203149_855.jpg" height="320" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My beautiful girl is no longer a little child.</td></tr>
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<br />Angelahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17901294526605293502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3818665836824448276.post-47582871427348033352014-07-07T11:46:00.001-05:002014-07-07T11:46:35.750-05:00Will You Be My Forever Mama?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUsstzMiVIclzu54SiiSN-O_YS_OuZykm7svprcWsWWTGLm0skruW0AYxFBqK4IQqHSQgdoJ6b805Ai34f5yZfFe9wMKsOu9ZJ_faHd4qHSm-WmG5vz8ZC0pNT5wKW5Nc7bMw-HRFgzhA/s1600/IMG_20140524_105748_328.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUsstzMiVIclzu54SiiSN-O_YS_OuZykm7svprcWsWWTGLm0skruW0AYxFBqK4IQqHSQgdoJ6b805Ai34f5yZfFe9wMKsOu9ZJ_faHd4qHSm-WmG5vz8ZC0pNT5wKW5Nc7bMw-HRFgzhA/s1600/IMG_20140524_105748_328.jpg" height="320" width="180" /></a></div>
My son is four and has been with us since he was 18 months old.<br />
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We have talked about his adoption openly from the day he arrived with us. We have read age-appropriate, adoption-themed books to him, discussed our skin color differences, and talked lovingly of his birth mom. We have visited his biological half-brother (also adopted) and invited his half-sister (still living with his birth mom) to our home.<br />
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Depending on his frame of mind we have heard comments ranging from, "I wish I could live with my birth mama." to "I wish none of you were in that picture with me." (speaking of our family picture) to "Will you be my forever mama?"<br />
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The questions are normal, though some can be hurtful. Every time my son brings up his adoption story, I say a prayer for grace and wisdom and answer as openly as I can.<br />
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My hurt feelings don't really matter at that point because he is NOT trying to hurt me. He is attempting to process the differences in our skin color and how he joined our family compared to his sisters. He is attempting to reconcile the fading memories, experiences, and feelings he has from before he joined our family with his life now. He is trying to cope with the loss of the family who created him.<br />
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Really, it isn't about ME or my family or my parenting ability. It is about a little boy who came to us with a lot of hurts and a big dose of rejection by not being kept with his birth family.<br />
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Even the comments that seem good come from a place of hurt and fear. The one about being his forever mama is usually whispered into my ear. Sometimes at happy times, sometimes when he is in trouble or our day is a bit crazy.<br />
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My answer is always the about the same, "Yes, I will be your mama FOREVER. I am so happy to be your mama and I love being with you. You will be my baby even when you tower over me and no longer fit into my lap."<br />
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When the comments are on the hurtful side, I respond with something like, "I know it is so sad that you can't live with your birth mama. You must miss her and I bet she misses you, too. But I am SO thankful God let me be your mama and love and play with you every day because I love you so much!"<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj766iWx5CHW2DajJNqAYxFOU3uwMIDoFU58n4EUYZcKxFkJUfcShnz1QFOCNezfgKLQZMnUc0cM3LpWaJabkotcnAE5wOqoTKQbtvmYdk4dQV2uF8Uouk1xXfTZCb3kzMzxUpk4Oqb4Eo/s1600/IMG_20140624_164451_775.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj766iWx5CHW2DajJNqAYxFOU3uwMIDoFU58n4EUYZcKxFkJUfcShnz1QFOCNezfgKLQZMnUc0cM3LpWaJabkotcnAE5wOqoTKQbtvmYdk4dQV2uF8Uouk1xXfTZCb3kzMzxUpk4Oqb4Eo/s1600/IMG_20140624_164451_775.jpg" height="320" width="180" /></a>No, it is not always easy to hear hurtful comments and remember he isn't trying to hurt me. Some days I do better than others but I always respond lovingly to him and then take my hurts to my heavenly Father who knows my son's pain and my hurt better than anyone else.<br />
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I also remember that getting upset with him or responding in a hurtful way would only serve to increase his fear, anxiety, confusion, and rejection. No matter what I may be feeling, it isn't worth that.<br />
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This will be a lifelong journey.<br />
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What I say today will need to be repeated tomorrow or next week or next month...and many times after that.<br />
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What I say today will change as he grows and matures and understands life better.<br />
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<b>What I say today will set the course for ALL of our future conversations regarding his adoption.</b><br />
<br />Angelahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17901294526605293502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3818665836824448276.post-86012251667937330532014-06-24T07:15:00.000-05:002014-06-24T07:15:11.301-05:00On the Move...Again<br />
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Yes, it is true that our family is moving back to Kansas City. It has been a most amazing (and challenging) year of growth for every member of our family. We have been awed to see both of our girls mature in their relationship with God. (Not to mention their parents and little brother.) We have learned a great deal while living in a community setting. And we DEFINITELY would not give up the time we've had with our dear friends the Grahams. While here, we've seen the maternity home plans take shape, helped get the 501c3 non-profit status in place, built an apartment in the basement that will help fund the home, and even served our first birth mom. Best of all, we have the privilege of remaining on the Board of Directors for the maternity home!<br />
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<b>Keep reading if you'd like to know how our upcoming move came about:</b><br />
The Lord first started talking to us separately a few months ago that our time in Alabama was coming to a close. We kinda tried to ignore it since our time here has been so short. (Just so you know, we moved down here believing we would only be here for 2-5 years.) However, we began praying and asked some of our most trusted mentors to pray with us and share their thoughts. Their thoughts confirmed what we were hearing. So, we began casually looking for houses thinking it would be 9 months to a year before we moved. (We should have known better given how we moved to Kansas City in the first place. Back in 2007, we expected to move in a year but it ended up being six months because Paul's job of 10 years ended.)<br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://p.rdcpix.com/v01/l38ebbc44-m0xd-w400_h300_q80.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="9805 Eastern Ave, Kansas City, MO" border="0" height="240" src="http://p.rdcpix.com/v01/l38ebbc44-m0xd-w400_h300_q80.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Our new house (well, once all the paperwork is done anyway)</td></tr>
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A few weeks ago we found two houses that fit the bill for our family. (Namely some land to do some of the homesteading things we've dreamed of for years.) Paul and I made a two-day trip over one weekend to see the houses because the price for the house/land in the area we desired was just too amazing to ignore. By the end of the weekend and after hours of praying on the way home, we decided to put an offer in on one of the houses. Our offer was accepted last week and the seller requires a closing date of less than 45 days.<br />
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Needless to say, our timeframe for moving has sped up a great deal.<br />
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It is with both heavy and excited hearts that we are packing our things once again. We are sad to leave beautiful Alabama and the wonderful friends we have made here. We are sad to leave the Ramp where we have grown and matured so much. However, we are excited for another adventure with the Lord. We are excited about the house He is providing which has many elements we have dreamed of. And we are excited to rejoin some of the amazing friends He has allowed us to do life with over the past 7 years.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXWUE_oaFkPmLnOcd68OKHPikM4NrThqszvYjA_F9LX5OOpsHTcJkaG4MsNvioS6wbogqMJbiRhiIIcMx6Mawom49ZQB7sH9pvxi-jS1WrKkeSK9jxZSSCcBM065a_UkAPNPZUZarQDxM/s1600/Kopplin+Edits01_6.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXWUE_oaFkPmLnOcd68OKHPikM4NrThqszvYjA_F9LX5OOpsHTcJkaG4MsNvioS6wbogqMJbiRhiIIcMx6Mawom49ZQB7sH9pvxi-jS1WrKkeSK9jxZSSCcBM065a_UkAPNPZUZarQDxM/s1600/Kopplin+Edits01_6.JPG" height="213" width="320" /></a>We truly feel we will have two homes as we leave Hamilton. We will look forward to trips down to visit and be refreshed and to see the continued work of the maternity home that we've had a small part in launching!<br />
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As we take our next leap of faith on this crazy journey the Lord is leading us on, please be in prayer for our family, our move, and our hearts as we leave behind some of the most amazing and God-loving people we've had the privilege to know.<br />
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Angelahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17901294526605293502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3818665836824448276.post-29280947222428567062014-06-04T09:28:00.000-05:002014-06-04T09:28:20.063-05:00What is Adoption Consultation Anyway?<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I have a good friend who puts it very well. She says whenever she tells people she is an adoption consultant she gets mostly blank stares. So let me explain:</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibxhA22hT_uhtdrhg06U2hlgibhfjUUw83lCL0a2weEY-tRSR_ulYq-M6agNKV5r8WzGbyutjK7UNiPq2SpGbggIHFJ-r4PYjyKppXAfj1zRfzoFGYTT8R_r4SxR4My4qtYMelClkocdE/s1600/Sweet+baby.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibxhA22hT_uhtdrhg06U2hlgibhfjUUw83lCL0a2weEY-tRSR_ulYq-M6agNKV5r8WzGbyutjK7UNiPq2SpGbggIHFJ-r4PYjyKppXAfj1zRfzoFGYTT8R_r4SxR4My4qtYMelClkocdE/s1600/Sweet+baby.jpg" height="256" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">As an adoption consultant and adoptive mama with Christian Adoption Consultants, I walk with an adoptive family from the time they first inquire about adoption through finalization. I help them: </span><br />
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<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">identify ethical agencies who provide good care to adoptive and birth families</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">create the perfect family profile</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">identify some of the best ways to finance their adoption (Did you know that most families working with an adoption consultant average $5-10K more in adoption grants and fundraising money than those not working with a consultant?)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">help families steer clear of high-risk situations that could result in their losing thousands of dollars</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">provide support, guidance and education on interacting with their birth family, agency and attorney</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">help shorten the waiting time for families through applying to multiple agencies</span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Also, as a consultant, I have access to situations and children available with other agencies and attorneys the adoptive family has not applied with. I am able to share these situations with waiting families.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">If you have been considering adoption, call (816-237-8242) or <a href="mailto:angela@christianadoptionconsultants.com">email</a> me to find out how I can help! I would love to walk with you on your adoption journey, sharing my own expertise as an adoptive mama as well as my fifteen years of adoption experience.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>Remember, <a href="http://www.christianadoptionconsultants.com/" target="_blank">Christian Adoption Consultants</a> is offering a 10% <a href="http://www.christianadoptionconsultants.com/discount/" target="_blank">discount</a> on our full consulting programs if you apply by Friday. What better way to kick off your summer than beginning the process to answer God's call to care for the orphan?</b></span></div>
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Angelahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17901294526605293502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3818665836824448276.post-89339680027603476772014-06-02T11:42:00.000-05:002014-06-02T11:42:50.142-05:00My New Career at CAC Begins!<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Today marks my first official day as a Consultant and International Adoption Supervisor with Christian Adoption Consultants! </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Christian Adoption Consultants is committed to helping families realize their dreams and answer God’s call to add to their family through adoption. </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I am beyond blessed to use my lifetime of previous adoption experience...both personal and professional to help families navigate the often confusing adoption process.</span><br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ouMVOjR3d6w/U4ynuoWUAVI/AAAAAAAAAFk/eYGTzCziVds/s1600/Have+you+dreamed+about+adopting.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ouMVOjR3d6w/U4ynuoWUAVI/AAAAAAAAAFk/eYGTzCziVds/s1600/Have+you+dreamed+about+adopting.jpg" height="356" width="400" /></a></div>
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<b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><i>AND...to make my first day even better, Christian Adoption Consultants is offering a 10% summer discount on our full-service consulting packages!</i></b><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">This discount applies to
all applications received from June 2nd-6th. We only offer discounts like this
a few times a year – don’t miss out!</span><br />
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<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Basic Consulting Service-
normally $2130 is NOW $1977</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Consulting Plus Basic
Profile Preparation- normally $2680 is NOW $2412</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Consulting, Profile, and
Paperwork Preparation- normally $3430 is NOW $3087</span></li>
</ul>
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<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">This discount does not apply to our Do It Yourself Program or Special Needs Program and may not be combined with any other discounts. No discounts on any
other packages</span></i><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Sign up with me this week and I will personally walk with you on your adoption journey as well as provide you with invaluable information on financing your adoption, connecting with reputable home study and adoption agencies, and creating your adoption profile.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>Contact me with questions about adoption consultation or how I can help you realize your dream of growing your family through adoption at angela@christianadoptionconsultants.com or 816-237-8242.</b></span><br />
Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3818665836824448276.post-23908677065065201072014-06-02T09:57:00.002-05:002014-06-02T09:57:50.266-05:00On Moving Down South with my Multi-Racial Family<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19.45599937438965px;"><i>Originally posted May 2013</i></span><br />
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<a href="http://kopplinclan.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/img_0363x.jpg" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(153, 102, 51); border-bottom-style: dashed; border-bottom-width: 1px; color: #265e15; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none;"><img alt="IMG_0363x" class="size-medium wp-image-681 alignleft" height="200" src="http://kopplinclan.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/img_0363x.jpg?w=300&h=200" style="background: url(http://s1.wp.com/wp-content/themes/pub/mistylook/img/shadow.gif) 100% 100% no-repeat; border-left-color: rgb(238, 238, 238); border-left-width: 1px; border-style: solid none none solid; border-top-color: rgb(238, 238, 238); border-top-width: 1px; display: inline; float: left; height: auto; margin: 0px 7px 2px 0px; max-width: 100%; padding: 4px 10px 10px 4px;" width="300" /></a>When the Lord first started whispering the idea of a move to us, I said I would never move my multi-racial family to the south. I particularly abhorred Alabama because of the racist looks we received at gas stations on our way through on our return trip from Florida after adopting Christian. I revised that very quickly since it is not my place to put God in a box. I said, “I would really have to hear from God to take my boy into the south.”</div>
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So, here we are, moving south with our multi-racial family in a few short months. On the outside it seems crazy. One thing I know is that God said go and to disobey would be far worse than any racism we may face as we enter the deep south.</div>
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Being a multi-cultural family isn’t easy, no matter where we are, but some places are definitely more open than others. We are thankful that the church we are entering has other multi-cultural adoptive families and is a fairly diverse community.</div>
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More than once, Christian has received prophecy that he would be a bridge between the races. We pray that would be true more now than ever.</div>
Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3818665836824448276.post-36705608134118883492014-06-02T09:56:00.004-05:002014-06-02T09:56:48.532-05:00Asking Questions<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19.45599937438965px; margin-bottom: 0.7em; margin-top: 0.7em; padding: 0px;">
<span style="color: black; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><i>Originally posted November 2012</i></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Christian, who just turned three a few weeks ago, is starting to gain an awareness of his adoption. Reading all the adoption books and working in adoption never gave me a clear picture of when this might happen, but more of a vague “you’ll know when they are ready.” So, I’ve faithfully read his story to him from the book we created to tell just that.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"></span><span style="color: black; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Lately, he’s been putting things together which has lead to statements like: “I grew in my birth mama’s tummy. And then I came to you! And you were so happy! Right?”</span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19.45599937438965px; margin-bottom: 0.7em; margin-top: 0.7em; padding: 0px;">
<span style="color: black; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Or questions like: “The girls (his sisters) grew in your tummy? But I grew in my birth mama’s tummy?”</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">He’s also gaining an awareness of the difference between his skin and ours. Recently he told a friend at church that her skin is brown and so is his. She honestly wasn’t sure how to respond, but I was thrilled he was identifying with her.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">A few days ago, I overheard a conversation he had while playing legos with a 10 year old friend of my daughters. Christian was digging through the lego bucket looking for something:</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Friend: “What are you looking for, Christian.”</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Christian: “The chocolaty brown guy.”</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Friend, confused: “The chocolaty brown guy?”</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Me: “He’s looking for one that has brown skin like him.”</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Christian: “Yeah”</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Both dug intensely for a minute until the friend produced the chocolaty brown guy whom Christian put at the helm of the boat they had just built and proclaimed that the guy was him leading the battle charge.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Each time Christian brings something up, I say a prayer that the Lord would give me wisdom to speak to his heart and that He would help Christian understand his story and yet fully embrace the good and the difficult parts of being adopted. In a split second I ask for God to make him strong and give him joy despite losing his birth family or the difficulty of being the only black person in our family.</span></div>
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<img alt="" class="wp-image-674 alignleft" height="162" src="http://kopplinclan.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/dsc04431.jpg?w=216&h=162" style="background: url(http://s1.wp.com/wp-content/themes/pub/mistylook/img/shadow.gif) 100% 100% no-repeat; border-left-color: rgb(238, 238, 238); border-left-width: 1px; border-style: solid none none solid; border-top-color: rgb(238, 238, 238); border-top-width: 1px; display: inline; float: left; height: auto; margin: 0px 7px 2px 0px; max-width: 100%; padding: 4px 10px 10px 4px;" title="DSC04431" width="216" /></div>
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An<span style="color: black; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">d </span><span style="color: black; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">then </span><span style="color: black; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">I launch in with an answer that often includes a reminder that God knew and loved Christian before He even made the world. That way back then God knew Christian would live with his birth mama for 18 months an</span><span style="color: black; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">d then he would need a new family to love and care for him. One that included a daddy since that was the most important thing to Christian’s birth mama. Though he has no concept yet, we talk about our family being </span><span style="color: black; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> forever and that Christia</span><span style="color: black; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">n’s birth mama and sister also love him forever, even though he doesn’t live with them. I’m sure my words aren’t perfect, but I trust the Lord to work in my weakness.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">I’ll be honest, I love that he is putting things together and asking questions. I love the dialogue and that I am getting many chances to remind him that he is loved and wanted and cherished. God help me lead him to You so that he gets his identity from You and not from all the losses he’s experienced in his short life!</span></div>
Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3818665836824448276.post-57835443124152206152014-06-02T09:55:00.002-05:002014-06-02T09:55:50.020-05:00She's Come for a Visit<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19.45599937438965px; margin-bottom: 0.7em; margin-top: 0.7em; padding: 0px;">
<i>Originally Posted July 2012</i></div>
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Today Christian’s 9 year old biological sister flew in from Florida for a visit. She will be here for ten days visiting Christian and her other little brother, Asher.</div>
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We’re thrilled she’s here…and also a little overwhelmed. This is our first visit with any of Christian’s birth family since they are in Florida and we are twenty plus hours from there. Also, we have some interesting dynamics in place since Christian was 18 months old when he left his birth family and joined our family. There are memories there for him. Not the conscious kind any longer, but definitely memories.</div>
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Already we’ve seen him try some behaviors he used a year ago to get his way. Behaviors we worked long and hard to see leave. He hasn’t quite figured out how to handle her being here. He knows her from pictures, but this ‘in the flesh thing’ is different. He’s testing his boundaries with us and her. It is nerve-wracking to lay our family so completely open knowing that we do things SO VERY differently than her family does them. We look different, eat different, discipline different, and live different and she will see just about every detail of our family in the next week since she’s living with us.</div>
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<strong style="line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">But it is SO worth it.</strong> Already she has regaled us with stories of Christian’s life before our family. What he liked and didn’t like. Stories like the time he was blasted by a wave at a year old. (Which explains why he freaked out in the water the first 50 times we went swimming.) She brought a stuffed animal that was his when he lived with them. He latched right on and carried it around all night. She’s giving us a glimpse into where Christian came from that we simply didn’t have before. It is invaluable and precious and meaningful.</div>
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Right now he certainly doesn’t understand the dynamics of who she is and how she is related compared to his forever family. He’s open and accepting because we are. Some day, the fact that he gets to stay in contact with his big sister will be important to him.</div>
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So, however awkward this feels. And whatever the enemy tries to say to us about what she may report to his birth mom regarding our home and the way we are raising our son doesn’t matter. We aren’t doing this for us. We are opening our hearts wider to include a sweet little girl who is significant in Christian’s life and story.</div>
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And maybe, just maybe, she will see our love for Christian and her and carry that home in her heart along with all the fun experiences we will we have together this week!</div>
<div class="gallery galleryid-631 gallery-columns-2 gallery-size-thumbnail" data-carousel-extra="{"blog_id":11907394,"permalink":"http:\/\/kopplinclan.wordpress.com\/2012\/07\/17\/shes-come-for-a-visit\/","likes_blog_id":11907394}" id="gallery-631-6" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19.45599937438965px; margin: auto; padding: 0px;">
<dl class="gallery-item" style="float: left; line-height: inherit; margin: 10px 0px 1em; padding: 0px; text-align: center; width: 253.921875px;">
<dt class="gallery-icon landscape" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><a href="http://kopplinclan.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/dsc040341.jpg" style="border-bottom-style: none; color: #265e15; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none;"><img alt="At the Aiport: Nay, Isobel and Christian, Jessica, Angela" class="attachment-thumbnail" data-attachment-id="656" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-description="" data-image-meta="{"aperture":"4.5","credit":"","camera":"DSC-H55","caption":"","created_timestamp":"1342541852","copyright":"","focal_length":"8.64","iso":"800","shutter_speed":"0.04","title":""}" data-image-title="DSC04034" data-large-file="http://kopplinclan.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/dsc040341.jpg?w=500" data-medium-file="http://kopplinclan.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/dsc040341.jpg?w=300" data-orig-file="http://kopplinclan.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/dsc040341.jpg" data-orig-size="2592,1944" height="112" src="http://kopplinclan.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/dsc040341.jpg?w=150&h=112" style="background: url(http://s1.wp.com/wp-content/themes/pub/mistylook/img/shadow.gif) 100% 100% no-repeat; border: 2px solid rgb(207, 207, 207); height: auto; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; max-width: 100%; padding: 4px 10px 10px 4px;" width="150" /></a></dt>
<dd class="wp-caption-text gallery-caption" style="line-height: inherit; margin: 0.5em 0.5em 0.5em 0px; padding: 0px;">At the Aiport: Nay, Isobel and Christian, Jessica, Angela</dd></dl>
<dl class="gallery-item" style="float: left; line-height: inherit; margin: 10px 0px 1em; padding: 0px; text-align: center; width: 253.921875px;">
<dt class="gallery-icon landscape" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><a href="http://kopplinclan.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/dsc040381.jpg" style="border-bottom-style: none; color: #265e15; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none;"><img alt="Nay reading Christian a bedtime story. He climbed in her lap and she said "Wow, he's big!" That what happens when a little boy grows 6+ inches in a year." class="attachment-thumbnail" data-attachment-id="657" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-description="" data-image-meta="{"aperture":"3.5","credit":"","camera":"DSC-H55","caption":"","created_timestamp":"1342556853","copyright":"","focal_length":"4.25","iso":"400","shutter_speed":"0.1","title":""}" data-image-title="DSC04038" data-large-file="http://kopplinclan.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/dsc040381.jpg?w=500" data-medium-file="http://kopplinclan.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/dsc040381.jpg?w=300" data-orig-file="http://kopplinclan.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/dsc040381.jpg" data-orig-size="2592,1944" height="112" src="http://kopplinclan.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/dsc040381.jpg?w=150&h=112" style="background: url(http://s1.wp.com/wp-content/themes/pub/mistylook/img/shadow.gif) 100% 100% no-repeat; border: 2px solid rgb(207, 207, 207); height: auto; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; max-width: 100%; padding: 4px 10px 10px 4px;" width="150" /></a></dt>
<dd class="wp-caption-text gallery-caption" style="line-height: inherit; margin: 0.5em 0.5em 0.5em 0px; padding: 0px;">Nay reading Christian a bedtime story. He climbed in her lap and she said “Wow, he’s big!” That what happens when a little boy grows 6+ inches in a year.</dd></dl>
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Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3818665836824448276.post-79069273641096443562014-06-02T09:54:00.005-05:002014-06-02T09:54:59.522-05:00Four Little Words<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19.45599937438965px; margin-bottom: 0.7em; margin-top: 0.7em; padding: 0px;">
<i>Originally posted May 2012</i></div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-sAugKGnIQqI/U4yPUx56cHI/AAAAAAAAAFA/jJg3q8GXiDU/s1600/2012-04-29+19.27.07.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-sAugKGnIQqI/U4yPUx56cHI/AAAAAAAAAFA/jJg3q8GXiDU/s1600/2012-04-29+19.27.07.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
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We celebrated Mother’s Day yesterday because we were out of town the previous week. It was kinda nice because all the places weren’t packed with other blessed mothers. This mother’s day was amazing compared to last year’s. This year Paul planned to let me sleep in… I couldn’t wait. And then four little words shattered that dream. Let me explain.</div>
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Last year we were in Florida to adopt Christian. On Mother’s Day he had been with us less than 72 hours. The day before Mother’s Day we had been at a meeting with his birth mom that was required by our agency. He was with us at that meeting. Understand, Christian was 18 months old and had been away from his birth mom for four days when he joined our family. He had no idea why he was away from her nor why he was with all these white people. We hadn’t come close to finding our equilibrium in parenting him yet.</div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-cyw27Rlgkvo/U4yPsupMgsI/AAAAAAAAAFY/lbAjOpktZtg/s1600/DSC03073.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-cyw27Rlgkvo/U4yPsupMgsI/AAAAAAAAAFY/lbAjOpktZtg/s1600/DSC03073.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a>When she walked in the door, he went nuts with excitement. He wanted to be with her and in her arms. Her heart wasn’t at a place where she could handle that. When he couldn’t be in her arms he went nuts with anger and frustration. We were there only one short hour, but it felt like four hours. My heart was breaking to not have more more time getting to know, loving on, and honoring his birth mama and big sister. My heart was breaking even more to see this little boy so sad and confused.</div>
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As soon as we left he calmed down and it seemed okay. We went back to our place and Paul put him down for bed later that evening. Whew. The next day was Mother’s Day and I offered to stay behind and put Christian down for his morning nap while Paul took the girls to the beach since we had been in the car much of the day before. I anticipated rocking him to sleep and then enjoying some reading for the hour and a half, two hours of his nap.</div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-mrsreFCaiLY/U4yPbT0i8yI/AAAAAAAAAFI/dU3ECfS7h9c/s1600/2012-05-03+19.12.28.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-mrsreFCaiLY/U4yPbT0i8yI/AAAAAAAAAFI/dU3ECfS7h9c/s1600/2012-05-03+19.12.28.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
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Moments after they left the peace was shattered. This angry, confused, and scared little boy wanted nothing to do with me. He didn’t want to be held, but if I put him down he writhed around in misery. He screamed for the next three hours straight. If I touched him, sang to him, or prayed, he screamed louder. If I put him in the playpen, he threw himself against the sides. Exhausted he would doze for a minute and then resume. I couldn’t call Paul to come help…you don’t take your phone down to play in the waves. If I thought the hour the day before seemed like four, those three hours seemed like an eternity. I alternated between desperate prayers and a few of my own tears sprinkled with a hefty portion of fear. This was certainly not my best Mother’s Day.</div>
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After that day, things began to calm and we realized that initially, Paul needed to be there. Christian hadn’t had a dad at home so he relished his new dad. Within a couple weeks we were home and getting into our new “with toddler” routine and Christian was getting more and more okay with me. I could do naptimes, Paul could leave for short times – it was getting better. Within a few months his most painful memories had dulled and been covered over by new ones of adoring big sisters, steady and loving parents, and a constant environment with few changes. He relaxed, became loving and joyful, and the tantrums slowed to pretty much nil by the fall.</div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-YN40tXp3odk/U4yPjGLFwzI/AAAAAAAAAFQ/k2k2-_wZYzI/s1600/2012-05-04+09.40.58.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-YN40tXp3odk/U4yPjGLFwzI/AAAAAAAAAFQ/k2k2-_wZYzI/s1600/2012-05-04+09.40.58.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a>Fast forward to yesterday morning. To show me love, Paul was letting me sleep in. We did church Saturday and this would be relaxation/fun day. He got Christian up and brought him in for a good morning hug. Christian snuggled on my chest and we talked about his night. Sweet! Then he and Paul headed downstairs to watch a show and have breakfast. As Paul was closing the bedroom door so I could rest more, Christian yelled, with no prompting from Dad, “I love you, Mom!”</div>
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That was it, I was done in. Sleep evaporated as I realized that God completely redeemed last year’s Mother Day. I thanked Him over and over for giving us strength for the past year, for helping Christian in his new life, for bringing us to such a good place.</div>
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The rest of the day didn’t matter – that was the only gift I needed. Happy Mother’s Day to me.</div>
Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3818665836824448276.post-87317260820989562662014-06-02T09:45:00.002-05:002014-06-02T09:45:27.971-05:00THE Party!<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19.45599937438965px; margin-bottom: 0.7em; margin-top: 0.7em; padding: 0px;">
<i>Originally posted August 2012</i></div>
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Last weekend we celebrated Christian’s adoption. We did it up right with a potluck, lots of friends, and the Lord blessed us with lovely weather. The food was good, the friends were fun, and the icing on the cake was meeting Christian’s little brother, Asher, and his sweet family. It ended up an all day even with folks dropping by most of the afternoon. Christian’s favorite part was when we finally gave him the tractor off his cake. It was driving him crazy!</div>
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A few pics of this joyous occasion:</div>
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<a href="http://kopplinclan.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/dsc03205.jpg" style="border: none; color: #265e15; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none;"><img alt="" class="size-medium wp-image-587" height="225" src="http://kopplinclan.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/dsc03205.jpg?w=300&h=225" style="background: url(http://s1.wp.com/wp-content/themes/pub/mistylook/img/shadow.gif) 100% 100% no-repeat; border: 0px none; height: auto; margin: 0px; max-width: 100%; padding: 0px;" title="DSC03205" width="300" /></a><div class="wp-caption-text" style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 17px; padding: 0px 4px 5px;">
His cake - says "Forever - Christian Micah Caleb Kopplin, April 16, 2012"</div>
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<a href="http://kopplinclan.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/dsc03209.jpg" style="border: none; color: #265e15; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none;"><img alt="" class="size-medium wp-image-588" height="225" src="http://kopplinclan.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/dsc03209.jpg?w=300&h=225" style="background: url(http://s1.wp.com/wp-content/themes/pub/mistylook/img/shadow.gif) 100% 100% no-repeat; border: 0px none; height: auto; margin: 0px; max-width: 100%; padding: 0px;" title="DSC03209" width="300" /></a><div class="wp-caption-text" style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 17px; padding: 0px 4px 5px;">
As soon as he saw the cake he grabbed the tractor. When I yelled "no!" he promptly shoved it back on top of the cake. <span class="wp-smiley emoji emoji-smile" style="background: none; border: 0px; display: inline-block !important; margin: 0px; min-height: 1.2em; overflow: hidden; padding: 0px; position: relative !important; text-indent: 9999px; vertical-align: bottom; white-space: nowrap; width: 1.35em;" title=":-)">:-)</span> No damage done...good thing since I hadn't taken pictures yet.</div>
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<a href="http://kopplinclan.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/dsc03229.jpg" style="border: none; color: #265e15; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none;"><img alt="" class="size-medium wp-image-589" height="225" src="http://kopplinclan.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/dsc03229.jpg?w=300&h=225" style="background: url(http://s1.wp.com/wp-content/themes/pub/mistylook/img/shadow.gif) 100% 100% no-repeat; border: 0px none; height: auto; margin: 0px; max-width: 100%; padding: 0px;" title="DSC03229" width="300" /></a><div class="wp-caption-text" style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 17px; padding: 0px 4px 5px;">
Dad praying before the eating and partying began.</div>
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<a href="http://kopplinclan.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/dsc03233.jpg" style="border: none; color: #265e15; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none;"><img alt="" class="size-medium wp-image-590" height="225" src="http://kopplinclan.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/dsc03233.jpg?w=300&h=225" style="background: url(http://s1.wp.com/wp-content/themes/pub/mistylook/img/shadow.gif) 100% 100% no-repeat; border: 0px none; height: auto; margin: 0px; max-width: 100%; padding: 0px;" title="DSC03233" width="300" /></a><div class="wp-caption-text" style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 17px; padding: 0px 4px 5px;">
Mom and dad had fun, too!</div>
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<a href="http://kopplinclan.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/2012-04-21-13-20-40.jpg" style="border: none; color: #265e15; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none;"><img alt="" class="size-medium wp-image-596" height="225" src="http://kopplinclan.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/2012-04-21-13-20-40.jpg?w=300&h=225" style="background: url(http://s1.wp.com/wp-content/themes/pub/mistylook/img/shadow.gif) 100% 100% no-repeat; border: 0px none; height: auto; margin: 0px; max-width: 100%; padding: 0px;" title="2012-04-21 13.20.40" width="300" /></a><div class="wp-caption-text" style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 17px; padding: 0px 4px 5px;">
Meeting Asher for the first time</div>
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<div class="wp-caption aligncenter" id="attachment_591" style="background-color: #f3f3f3; border-bottom-left-radius: 3px; border-bottom-right-radius: 3px; border-top-left-radius: 3px; border-top-right-radius: 3px; border: 1px solid rgb(221, 221, 221); color: #333333; font-family: verdana, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19.45599937438965px; margin: 10px auto; max-width: 100%; padding: 4px 0px 0px; text-align: center; width: 310px;">
<a href="http://kopplinclan.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/dsc03239.jpg" style="border: none; color: #265e15; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none;"><img alt="" class="size-medium wp-image-591" height="225" src="http://kopplinclan.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/dsc03239.jpg?w=300&h=225" style="background: url(http://s1.wp.com/wp-content/themes/pub/mistylook/img/shadow.gif) 100% 100% no-repeat; border: 0px none; height: auto; margin: 0px; max-width: 100%; padding: 0px;" title="DSC03239" width="300" /></a><div class="wp-caption-text" style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 17px; padding: 0px 4px 5px;">
Holding little brother, Asher. At first he didn't want to see Asher - probably because 15 people were watching him meet his little brother while he had no clue the significance of the situation. A bit later he came and wanted to help me hold him!</div>
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<a href="http://kopplinclan.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/2012-04-21-13-24-38.jpg" style="border: none; color: #265e15; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none;"><img alt="" class="size-medium wp-image-597" height="225" src="http://kopplinclan.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/2012-04-21-13-24-38.jpg?w=300&h=225" style="background: url(http://s1.wp.com/wp-content/themes/pub/mistylook/img/shadow.gif) 100% 100% no-repeat; border: 0px none; height: auto; margin: 0px; max-width: 100%; padding: 0px;" title="2012-04-21 13.24.38" width="300" /></a><div class="wp-caption-text" style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 17px; padding: 0px 4px 5px;">
Finally getting his prize - the tractor!</div>
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<a href="http://kopplinclan.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/dsc03253.jpg" style="border: none; color: #265e15; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none;"><img alt="" class="size-medium wp-image-592" height="300" src="http://kopplinclan.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/dsc03253.jpg?w=225&h=300" style="background: url(http://s1.wp.com/wp-content/themes/pub/mistylook/img/shadow.gif) 100% 100% no-repeat; border: 0px none; height: auto; margin: 0px; max-width: 100%; padding: 0px;" title="DSC03253" width="225" /></a><div class="wp-caption-text" style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 17px; padding: 0px 4px 5px;">
A very tired boy from all the partying. He's hanging out in his new camo tent received as a gift from our sweet neighbors.</div>
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Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3818665836824448276.post-64915509512556015262014-06-02T09:44:00.000-05:002014-06-02T09:44:48.277-05:00It’s Really True and Finally Here<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19.45599937438965px; margin-bottom: 0.7em; margin-top: 0.7em; padding: 0px;">
<i>Originally posted April 2012</i></div>
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Yesterday was a long time coming. We thought it would happen in 2011, we thought it would happen in February. We are just thankful it is finally done! Christian is officially, fully, completely, and legally a Kopplin. The attorney said “Legally, he is no different than the children born to you. He’s yours. Congratulations!”</div>
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A lot of prayers and waiting went into this day. Every prayer was worth it. The actual event seemed a bit anti-climatic since it was all of 6 minutes long, including our hold time waiting for the judge to get on the line. :-) We finalized over the phone with Judge Day back in Jacksonville, FL. We had a notary friend (Mitch Yap) present to administer an oath to us. We stated our names and address, told why we wanted to adopt, and heard the judge say he was signing the papers.</div>
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It wasn’t until we got into the car to go home that the reality hit us. He’s ours! We must have said that a couple dozen times yesterday as we watched him play and run. He’s ours! No more paperwork, no more wondering, no more waiting, and no more being listed as his “foster or temporary mom” on hospital paperwork. Did I mention that he’s ours?</div>
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God has been good and faithful during the entire 11 1/2 months he has been with us. He has given us the strength and wisdom to help Christian transition into our family. He has helped him bond with us quickly and strongly. He has caused us to not worry over every bump in the road towards finalization. There were many bumps, but He just kept smoothing them out and we tried to keep trusting Him.</div>
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Now we pray for the rest of our lives – that we would raise this little man as the Lord would have us.</div>
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Thank you for those who prayed for us. Thank you for those who encouraged us. Thank you for those who stood with us through all the waiting.</div>
<div class="wp-caption aligncenter" id="attachment_580" style="background-color: #f3f3f3; border-bottom-left-radius: 3px; border-bottom-right-radius: 3px; border-top-left-radius: 3px; border-top-right-radius: 3px; border: 1px solid rgb(221, 221, 221); color: #333333; font-family: verdana, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19.45599937438965px; margin: 10px auto; max-width: 100%; padding: 4px 0px 0px; text-align: center; width: 310px;">
<a href="http://kopplinclan.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/dsc03124.jpg" style="border: none; color: #265e15; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none;"><img alt="" class="size-medium wp-image-580" height="225" src="http://kopplinclan.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/dsc03124.jpg?w=300&h=225" style="background: url(http://s1.wp.com/wp-content/themes/pub/mistylook/img/shadow.gif) 100% 100% no-repeat; border: 0px none; height: auto; margin: 0px; max-width: 100%; padding: 0px;" title="DSC03124" width="300" /></a><div class="wp-caption-text" style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 17px; padding: 0px 4px 5px;">
Waiting for the judge to come on the line. Our friend/notary standing behind us.</div>
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<a href="http://kopplinclan.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/dsc03125.jpg" style="border: none; color: #265e15; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none;"><img alt="" class="size-medium wp-image-581" height="225" src="http://kopplinclan.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/dsc03125.jpg?w=300&h=225" style="background: url(http://s1.wp.com/wp-content/themes/pub/mistylook/img/shadow.gif) 100% 100% no-repeat; border: 0px none; height: auto; margin: 0px; max-width: 100%; padding: 0px;" title="DSC03125" width="300" /></a><div class="wp-caption-text" style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 17px; padding: 0px 4px 5px;">
Administering the oath.</div>
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<a href="http://kopplinclan.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/dsc03126.jpg" style="border: none; color: #265e15; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none;"><img alt="" class="size-medium wp-image-582" height="225" src="http://kopplinclan.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/dsc03126.jpg?w=300&h=225" style="background: url(http://s1.wp.com/wp-content/themes/pub/mistylook/img/shadow.gif) 100% 100% no-repeat; border: 0px none; height: auto; margin: 0px; max-width: 100%; padding: 0px;" title="DSC03126" width="300" /></a><div class="wp-caption-text" style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 17px; padding: 0px 4px 5px;">
Right after - official family of 5 first picture</div>
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<div class="wp-caption aligncenter" id="attachment_583" style="background-color: #f3f3f3; border-bottom-left-radius: 3px; border-bottom-right-radius: 3px; border-top-left-radius: 3px; border-top-right-radius: 3px; border: 1px solid rgb(221, 221, 221); color: #333333; font-family: verdana, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19.45599937438965px; margin: 10px auto; max-width: 100%; padding: 4px 0px 0px; text-align: center; width: 310px;">
<a href="http://kopplinclan.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/dsc03129.jpg" style="border: none; color: #265e15; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none;"><img alt="" class="size-medium wp-image-583" height="225" src="http://kopplinclan.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/dsc03129.jpg?w=300&h=225" style="background: url(http://s1.wp.com/wp-content/themes/pub/mistylook/img/shadow.gif) 100% 100% no-repeat; border: 0px none; height: auto; margin: 0px; max-width: 100%; padding: 0px;" title="DSC03129" width="300" /></a><div class="wp-caption-text" style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 17px; padding: 0px 4px 5px;">
Kopplins and Hourihans, minus their dad - a mini celebration picture of our big event!</div>
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Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3818665836824448276.post-39582577302972194802014-06-02T09:41:00.003-05:002014-06-02T09:41:29.270-05:00About Adopting A Toddler<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19.45599937438965px;"><i> Originally posted November 2011</i> </span><br />
<div class="wp-caption alignleft" id="attachment_420" style="background-color: #f3f3f3; border-bottom-left-radius: 3px; border-bottom-right-radius: 3px; border-top-left-radius: 3px; border-top-right-radius: 3px; border: 1px solid rgb(221, 221, 221); color: #333333; float: left; font-family: verdana, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19.45599937438965px; margin: 10px; max-width: 100%; padding: 4px 0px 0px; text-align: center; width: 310px;">
<a href="http://kopplinclan.files.wordpress.com/2011/11/img_4619.jpg" style="border: none; color: #265e15; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none;"><img alt="" class="size-medium wp-image-420" height="200" src="http://kopplinclan.files.wordpress.com/2011/11/img_4619.jpg?w=300&h=200" style="background: url(http://s1.wp.com/wp-content/themes/pub/mistylook/img/shadow.gif) 100% 100% no-repeat; border: 0px none; height: auto; margin: 0px; max-width: 100%; padding: 0px;" title="IMG_4619" width="300" /></a><div class="wp-caption-text" style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 17px; padding: 0px 4px 5px;">
The most handsome little two year old in the world!</div>
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Christian has been with us for six months and 10 days now. I can hardly believe it has been that long and yet there is still so much I don’t know. There are times he does things that I know have an origin not of our family. I find myself asking him if he has seen or done something before. Of course, he can’t tell me, but I still wonder if this is really his first time to _____ or just his first time with us.</div>
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A few weeks ago he had his first haircut at the barber since he joined our family. Before he joined us, his birth mom kept his hair shaved so I know it wasn’t really his first time. Unfortunately, it was traumatic. He sat still as a statue and cried the whole time. I had to wonder why? What made my busy two year old sit perfectly still for 45 minutes in obvious agony? Had he been spanked for fighting in the barber chair before? What do I do to reassure him? How do I make sure he feels safe?</div>
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The reality is that I just don’t know. He has 18 months of experiences before our family (positive and negative) that I have no way to know about. I realize that while he feels totally a part of our family, it will be another year before he has been with us for half his life.</div>
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A child adopted older may eventually be able to talk about their past – what they hated or feared, what they liked or miss. Adopted at 18 months old, my son will never be able to verbalize those early months. He won’t have conscious memory of them, even if feels the loss, anger, rejection, etc., inside.</div>
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I am constantly faced with good and not-so-good behavior that I can’t explain. Who taught him to play dead? Why does he get upset over that? Why is he screaming for “no reason”?</div>
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I try to walk through each situation in prayer. I am constantly asking the Lord if what is happening is due to age or loss. I find that if I take a moment to pray and listen, the Holy Spirit often drops a nugget into my mind that focuses my prayer on the root issue. I pray and many times feel a tangible release in Christian.</div>
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I don’t always hear that clearly, but I remain watchful and prayerful for behaviors that have some extra element behind them. I try to remember that while we’ve poured love, boundaries, and security into his life for these past months, he still has more experiences outside of our influence that drive who he is, how he handles each situation, and how he reacts to new things.</div>
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Don’t take this wrong, I wouldn’t give up the joy of having this little guy in our family for any “easier” situation. I can tell you that we’ve come a long way in six months. I think back to the first days and weeks and praise God all over again. My son’s anger and frustration at all of the out-of-control and scary changes in his life was palpable. Simple things often became major events when he expressed his frustration and anger. We had to teach boundaries with unending love. We had to provide love even when he pushed away with all of his might. We had to get up a dozen times a night to love, encourage, and reassure him. Even comings and goings of us or family were traumatic for him. He must have been wondering if we were going to disappear like his birth mom and sister did.</div>
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I remember vividly when people started commenting about how much more settled he seemed. That was a balm to my heart. That change came with much sacrifice of time, but was worth every minute.</div>
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Now he loves to “go, go, go” and sweetly yells “Bye!” while blowing a kiss when one of us leaves. Yes, he has come a long way. He’s gone from non-verbal to talking and repeating EVERYTHING. He’s gone from frequent anger and extended tantrums to normal toddler cries and frustrations. He’s gone from eating fries and chicken nuggets to gobbling celery, lettuce, and cucumber like they are candy.</div>
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So while I don’t know all that he experienced those first 18 months like I know for my daughters, the Lord knows. I trust Him to reveal to me when I need it. When I turn to Him, He gives wisdom in how to act, what to say, how to proceed, and how to pray. He is the only One I can lean on or look to when what I see before me just can’t be explained or seems too big or hard.</div>
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Thankful I’m not in this alone!</div>
Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3818665836824448276.post-61117019456515631642014-06-02T09:39:00.002-05:002014-06-02T09:39:08.616-05:00So Much Alike<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19.45599937438965px; margin-bottom: 0.7em; margin-top: 0.7em; padding: 0px;">
<i>Originally posted June 2011</i></div>
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Many people know that I am adopted. Officially I was adopted at 8. However, I started living with my adoptive parents when I was about one. Not much younger than Christian.</div>
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This similarity in our stories really hit me last night when I was praying over him and talking to him about how much he is loved and wanted. I was telling him how I know it is hard and all so different. As I said that, I realized, I really DO know! I know it is possible to want to be with both sets of parents so bad it hurts. I know it is possible to love your first mom and dad and your adoptive parents equally! I know how important BOTH of my moms are to me now.</div>
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I tell him as many good things about his first mama as I can. She is his mom. So am I. She is part of him and always will be. I don’t mind sharing because I get it. Some day he may have the privilege to tell his children that he is lucky to have two moms who love him so much. I don’t know if we will get to meet her again in the future, but I will embrace her if we do. I will tell her everything her heart desires to know about her boy and shower her with pictures and stories. I will bring her into our circle, our family, and love her like I love him.</div>
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She is, after all, the reason I get to hold this boy in my arms each day and get lost in his smiles and snuggles.</div>
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I could never have imagined it would be this good!</div>
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