My Life is an Adventure

No, we don't travel the world. But let's review the past year:

• We sold our house and had to move out in 2 1/2 weeks.
• We lived in an empty townhouse for a month, sleeping on the floor.
• We moved to Alabama and lived in a 31ft travel trailer for five months.
• We lived in a partially finished basement for six months...washing our dishes in the bathtub. (Yes, I kept it extra clean.)
• In the past two months we have made six 12-hour trips locating a home in KC, visiting family in MI, and moving our things and mini-farm/petting zoo to KC.

Even now the adventure continues as all our stuff is piled in the garage to re-finish the very nasty but now beautiful hardwood floors. The plan was to stay at a friend's house while they vacationed out west and be back in our house by Thursday. As with much of the past year, the plan is not quite working as we had hoped. Therefore the adventure continues and we will be camping out in our new backyard a few days while the poly cures.

I wish I could say I have handled each adventure and change in plans with the utmost of grace.

I remember walking through the basement when we were still crammed into the travel trailer. I looked right and left and frustratingly lamented, "It is NEVER going to be normal again!"

I immediately heard a quiet whispered response inside, "I know, isn't it great?!"

In an instant I realized that the Father was calling me to look beyond my circumstances and find joy and peace in Him. I realized the out-of-control mess and change in plans was part of HIS plan to bring me to a place of greater trust. I realized that it is imperative to my life and my family for me to learn these lessons. 

To not learn these lessons would be to let circumstances determine my course and my happiness. To not learn these lessons would be to teach my children that when things are hard or don't go your way you should be frustrated, upset, angry, or depressed.

Now, back to how I am handling all this adventure. Not perfect. At all. Sometimes I smile and figure out the new plan. Sometimes my initial reaction is a bit less...ummm, happy.

I tell my kids all the time, it isn't how you react to a situation because we all mess up sometimes. It is what you do after your initial poor reaction. Do you allow the bad thoughts, words, or attitude to continue? Or do you repent and turn your heart and ear to the Lord to get His take on the situation.

There is absolutely no guarantee that the adventure will slow down for us. Though I suspect at some point we will be in our new house and will find a new normal (and all of our stuff).

My goal is to find the joy in the craziness. To lean not on my own understanding as I let the God of peace permeate my attitude and home. To show my children how to trust the Lord and be kind when essentially our whole lives are turned upside down.

I can't help but think this is just a preparation for things to come. May I be found worthy for more adventure.

Goodbyes and Hello Again

In just a few days we will be official Missourians again. We closed on our house in Missouri on the 18th, drove to Michigan for our annual family visit up there, and then back to Alabama for a few days of tying up loose ends and goodbyes.

The goodbyes are bittersweet. The people in this community are so very special. They have embraced and loved us and our children so well. Their words, messages, and worship have encouraged us and caused us to grow. This has been a pretty remarkable year.

We say goodbye to some amazing friends, both old and new. Our lives have been enriched by these people. It will be hard to leave.

We say goodbye to a natural beauty all around us that feeds our souls and draws us closer to God. We will sorely miss the lovely hikes, and clear, spring-fed streams that have been part of our weekly lives down here. We will miss the easy traffic and laid-back pace of this gorgeous community.

Our favorite creek just 1 minute from the house.

As we close this chapter, we look forward to re-connecting with friends, soaking in the prayer room, and creating our own little suburban homestead in Kansas City. Our new house has nearly two acres which some day, Lord-willing, will host a small orchard, a garden and greenhouse, and food-producing animals.

Part of our backyard.

Say a prayer for me as my car will hold Isobel's mini-farm menagerie for the 12-14 hour trip Saturday. My car will be filled with 5 chickens, 6 rabbits, 2 cats, 1 dog, 1 turtle, and dozens of aquatic animals. I offered to drive the moving truck for Paul. He didn't accept.

A number have asked us what we will be doing in Kansas City. We don't have a clear picture of what the Lord has for us there. So we purpose to follow His leading and keep our hearts open to His plans and purpose for us.

Please pray with us for the trip, for Christian's transition, and for Christian starting preschool the Monday after we move. Here's to quite a crazy year of moving, travels and learning to go with the flow.

Mission Trip Recap

First, thank you to those who supported our mission trip. It was great! We are so impressed with the mission organization we went with (groupmissions.com). They were organized, God focused, and connected us with truly life-changing projects.

Jessica and I on the way to Ohio.
This was a stop in beautiful Kentucky.

Our arrival at the mission trip site where we slept, ate,
had worship and fellowshipped.

A few highlights from our trip:
First, Jessica and I were both assigned to jobs that were not tops on our list. We would gladly have switched if we could have. It is a good thing God knew better.

Jessica with her team leader and team.
She really connected with this great group of people!

In Jessica's Own Words: The mission trip to Cincinnati, OH was a really cool week for me personally. It helped me grow a lot in my faith and friendships. 

I loved serving, but honestly, my favorite part was simply hanging out with my team, working with them, doing devotionals with them, and all that good stuff.  When we were told that we would be serving at a nursing home, I was like, no. That was exactly the thing I'd told Mom over and over that I didn't want to do, and now I was stuck doing it for the whole week! I was mad but calmed down pretty quickly. (Ok, maybe I didn't calm down and Mom had to give me a pep talk, but I pulled it around.)

So imagine this. You're about to do something you think you’re gonna hate for six hours a day for a week. That was so me on the first day of work. But, believe it or not, as soon as I got there, I settled right in helping some old ladies play dominoes. My team and I ate a nice lunch outside and did devotions. We got back to base and hung out a little bit before dinner, worship and bed.

Taking a resident back to
her room after activities.

Our days were full of fun and stuff like pushing wheelchairs, playing cards with residents, and sharing good cups of cocoa with my team, but the most memorable day was the last. It was bittersweet, though, leaving all the residents we'd come to look forward to seeing as we walked through those epic-ly structured sliding doors. The last day we got to do some cool things we hadn't done before. One of my teammates, Izzie, did an Irish dance, (she is amazing) with Mario at the sound booth, controlling the music. Our mission trip leader, Chris and I got to sing for the residents. Plus another team member, Logan, showed his epic hangman skills when none of us could figure out his sentence. By the end of the day, we were all worn out and sad about leaving, but it had been a good week overall. 

And so at last we left, exchanging emails and whatnot, sad but happy at the same time. I was convinced I was going to hate it, but I couldn’t have asked for a better job, and I still thank the Lord for what he did in me and through me for the residents.

I'm so proud of Jessica. Just the other day we received a call from Lyla, one of the women she spent time with. Lyla wanted to call and tell me how wonderful Jessica was and what a blessing to her during the long, lonely days. She is still thinking about their conversations and enjoying the memory.

I ended up leading a group of teens and young adults to a Boys and Girls Club. In the mornings we cleaned, organized, and did hard labor around the place. In the afternoons we hung with the neighborhood kids doing everything from dodge ball to arts and crafts and face painting. I didn't go expecting to lead a team so it was a stretch but a good one. The Lord was gracious and filled me with strength despite lack of sleep. (50 girls packed into a few open rooms makes for late nights. :-)  One highlight of my time at the club was connecting with a 12 year old deaf girl with great artistic talent.

My team - a great group of 'kids'...who worked hard and had fun!

Face painting in the afternoon with the kids. It was a hit!

Jessica has talked about being a missionary for almost a year. She was sad to leave OH when it was time to return home. One of the biggest things she seemed to learn was to go with the flow and trust that the Lord knows what He is doing even if it doesn't seem to make sense.

When you think about it, please pray for her and future mission trips. She is still prayerfully consider missions as part of her future.

Thanks again to everyone who prayed and supported us. It was an amazing and stretching week and a wonderful time for Jessica and I to connect without the other siblings around.

We had an evening free. We joined with another
team for dessert and exploring downtown Cincinnati.

My beautiful girl is no longer a little child.

Will You Be My Forever Mama?

My son is four and has been with us since he was 18 months old.

We have talked about his adoption openly from the day he arrived with us. We have read age-appropriate, adoption-themed books to him, discussed our skin color differences, and talked lovingly of his birth mom. We have visited his biological half-brother (also adopted) and invited his half-sister (still living with his birth mom) to our home.

Depending on his frame of mind we have heard comments ranging from, "I wish I could live with my birth mama." to "I wish none of you were in that picture with me." (speaking of our family picture) to "Will you be my forever mama?"

The questions are normal, though some can be hurtful. Every time my son brings up his adoption story, I say a prayer for grace and wisdom and answer as openly as I can.

My hurt feelings don't really matter at that point because he is NOT trying to hurt me. He is attempting to process the differences in our skin color and how he joined our family compared to his sisters. He is attempting to reconcile the fading memories, experiences, and feelings he has from before he joined our family with his life now. He is trying to cope with the loss of the family who created him.

Really, it isn't about ME or my family or my parenting ability. It is about a little boy who came to us with a lot of hurts and a big dose of rejection by not being kept with his birth family.

Even the comments that seem good come from a place of hurt and fear. The one about being his forever mama is usually whispered into my ear. Sometimes at happy times, sometimes when he is in trouble or our day is a bit crazy.

My answer is always the about the same, "Yes, I will be your mama FOREVER. I am so happy to be your mama and I love being with you. You will be my baby even when you tower over me and no longer fit into my lap."

When the comments are on the hurtful side, I respond with something like, "I know it is so sad that you can't live with your birth mama. You must miss her and I bet she misses you, too. But I am SO thankful God let me be your mama and love and play with you every day because I love you so much!"

No, it is not always easy to hear hurtful comments and remember he isn't trying to hurt me. Some days I do better than others but I always respond lovingly to him and then take my hurts to my heavenly Father who knows my son's pain and my hurt better than anyone else.

I also remember that getting upset with him or responding in a hurtful way would only serve to increase his fear, anxiety, confusion, and rejection. No matter what I may be feeling, it isn't worth that.

This will be a lifelong journey.

What I say today will need to be repeated tomorrow or next week or next month...and many times after that.

What I say today will change as he grows and matures and understands life better.

What I say today will set the course for ALL of our future conversations regarding his adoption.

On the Move...Again

Yes, it is true that our family is moving back to Kansas City. It has been a most amazing (and challenging) year of growth for every member of our family. We have been awed to see both of our girls mature in their relationship with God. (Not to mention their parents and little brother.) We have learned a great deal while living in a community setting. And we DEFINITELY would not give up the time we've had with our dear friends the Grahams. While here, we've seen the maternity home plans take shape, helped get the 501c3 non-profit status in place, built an apartment in the basement that will help fund the home, and even served our first birth mom. Best of all, we have the privilege of remaining on the Board of Directors for the maternity home!

Keep reading if you'd like to know how our upcoming move came about:
The Lord first started talking to us separately a few months ago that our time in Alabama was coming to a close. We kinda tried to ignore it since our time here has been so short. (Just so you know, we moved down here believing we would only be here for 2-5 years.) However, we began praying and asked some of our most trusted mentors to pray with us and share their thoughts. Their thoughts confirmed what we were hearing. So, we began casually looking for houses thinking it would be 9 months to a year before we moved. (We should have known better given how we moved to Kansas City in the first place. Back in 2007, we expected to move in a year but it ended up being six months because Paul's job of 10 years ended.)

Our new house (well, once all the paperwork is done anyway)

A few weeks ago we found two houses that fit the bill for our family. (Namely some land to do some of the homesteading things we've dreamed of for years.) Paul and I made a two-day trip over one weekend to see the houses because the price for the house/land in the area we desired was just too amazing to ignore. By the end of the weekend and after hours of praying on the way home, we decided to put an offer in on one of the houses. Our offer was accepted last week and the seller requires a closing date of less than 45 days.

Needless to say, our timeframe for moving has sped up a great deal.

It is with both heavy and excited hearts that we are packing our things once again. We are sad to leave beautiful Alabama and the wonderful friends we have made here. We are sad to leave the Ramp where we have grown and matured so much.  However, we are excited for another adventure with the Lord. We are excited about the house He is providing which has many elements we have dreamed of. And we are excited to rejoin some of the amazing friends He has allowed us to do life with over the past 7 years.

We truly feel we will have two homes as we leave Hamilton. We will look forward to trips down to visit and be refreshed and to see the continued work of the maternity home that we've had a small part in launching!

As we take our next leap of faith on this crazy journey the Lord is leading us on, please be in prayer for our family, our move, and our hearts as we leave behind some of the most amazing and God-loving people we've had the privilege to know.

What is Adoption Consultation Anyway?

I have a good friend who puts it very well. She says whenever she tells people she is an adoption consultant she gets mostly blank stares. So let me explain:

As an adoption consultant and adoptive mama with Christian Adoption Consultants, I walk with an adoptive family from the time they first inquire about adoption through finalization. I help them: 

• identify ethical agencies who provide good care to adoptive and birth families
• create the perfect family profile
• identify some of the best ways to finance their adoption (Did you know that most families working with an adoption consultant average $5-10K more in adoption grants and fundraising money than those not working with a consultant?)
• help families steer clear of high-risk situations that could result in their losing thousands of dollars
• provide support, guidance and education on interacting with their birth family, agency and attorney
• help shorten the waiting time for families through applying to multiple agencies

Also, as a consultant, I have access to situations and children available with other agencies and attorneys the adoptive family has not applied with. I am able to share these situations with waiting families.

If you have been considering adoption, call (816-237-8242) or email me to find out how I can help! I would love to walk with you on your adoption journey, sharing my own expertise as an adoptive mama as well as my fifteen years of adoption experience.

Remember, Christian Adoption Consultants is offering a 10% discount on our full consulting programs if you apply by Friday. What better way to kick off your summer than beginning the process to answer God's call to care for the orphan?

My New Career at CAC Begins!

Today marks my first official day as a Consultant and International Adoption Supervisor with Christian Adoption Consultants! Christian Adoption Consultants is committed to helping families realize their dreams and answer God’s call to add to their family through adoption. I am beyond blessed to use my lifetime of previous adoption experience...both personal and professional to help families navigate the often confusing adoption process.

AND...to make my first day even better, Christian Adoption Consultants is offering a 10% summer discount on our full-service consulting packages! 

This discount applies to all applications received from June 2nd-6th. We only offer discounts like this a few times a year – don’t miss out!

• Basic Consulting Service- normally $2130 is NOW $1977
• Consulting Plus Basic Profile Preparation- normally $2680 is NOW $2412
• Consulting, Profile, and Paperwork Preparation- normally $3430 is NOW $3087

This discount does not apply to our Do It Yourself Program or Special Needs Program and may not be combined with any other discounts. No discounts on any other packages

Sign up with me this week and I will personally walk with you on your adoption journey as well as provide you with invaluable information on financing your adoption, connecting with reputable home study and adoption agencies, and creating your adoption profile.

Contact me with questions about adoption consultation or how I can help you realize your dream of growing your family through adoption at angela@christianadoptionconsultants.com or 816-237-8242.